If you have to try to be straight, I've got news for you.
this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2023
365 points (97.7% liked)
Microblog Memes
5837 readers
1342 users here now
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
Rules:
- Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
- Be nice.
- No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
- Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.
Related communities:
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
I'm so not gay all the dicks I suck cum quick, thus making me suck dick for the shortest amount of time possible.
I aint no queer
Why do all these gay guys keep trying to suck my dick? I mean I'm definitely not gay as you can tell by my collection of vintage Playboy magazines and my rugged good looks. And it's not like I'm doing anything wrong as I stretch out my calves on the park bench at 11pm while wearing my super short shorts to make running easier. But the next thing I know, some gay guy will start sucking my dick! It's really annoying. I ask them to stop, but they just keep going with those long even strokes while softly caressing my testicles. I even tried bribing one once, but that just emboldened them. I don't know what else to do to make these gay guys stop. It's really starting to interfere with my running schedule.
Wow that sounds super ~~gay~~ inconvenient
Recent studies show that 1 in 10 men are gay. That really concerns me, because that means that out of the ten guys I've fucked, one of them was probably gay.
I'm so straight I love other straight men.
I like implication here that being in the closet is not gay.
Schrödinger’s closet: as long as you’re inside, you’re simultaneously gay and not gay.
I'm so straight I could suck a dick and it wouldn't be gay.
Well, your username makes me think that you might be female, in which case you could suck as many dicks as you want and it wouldn’t be gay.
Your username makes me hungry.
Prove it.
Bad news, dude. Those clothes are sitting weird on a chair now. You just made them bisexual instead
Image Transcription: YouTube Comment
Justin Casar
I'm so straight that I don't even put my clothes in the closet because eventually they will have to come out of the closet and that is gay.