Asklemmy

This is probably NSFW so... warning(?)

I was going to reserve dinner at a place for our 7th anniversary of our marriage. My phone ran out of battery, so she told me to use hers.

While I was using it she received a message saying "tomorrow again? 😏". Curiosity killed me, I opened the message because, as far as I knew, she stayed home while I was working the day before.

To my surprise, the guy that texted her sent her a video of her on all fours with 2 men cuming on her. Needless to say, there was no 7th anniversary dinner. This was also years ago so I got over it.

I could have said "she cheated on me" and leave it at that but I feel like the whole story is spicier.

She just wasn't ever happy with anything. Swore up and down she loved me, but she was always mat at me and couldn't ever articulate why. I wanted to be better, but after a while, I just wanted to stop treading on eggshells every time I was around her.

I hope she has found something or someone to make her happy.

He got weirdly into this kind of toxic masculinity, misogynistic bullshit that I was not down with. It's one thing to play with that consensually during sex, but I'm not okay with becoming a mini Andrew Tate clone

Girlfriend for four years had been cheating on me for at least seven months. We were a modern family with one kid each. Found out Sunday evening when I caught her texting. The worst is the kids when they will know they won’t be together again. And her family, very good people. She’s dead to me.

She got bored of me, cheated, gaslit me and made me feel like I was treading on egg shells for 12 months and then we split up.

She'd have had permission if she had asked.

I took her for granted and probably got too comfortable in our domestic life. She had a new work friend who had nothing better to do than talk to her all day about how she would be a better partner than me.

~19 years of marriage ended late last year due to mental health issues + NPD. I'm still trying to get over it, but it's tough; she just won't leave me alone.

I just don't think straight relationships are for me.

I am childfree, she wasn't. 100% not going to work, but we ended on good terms all things ocnsidered.

I'm in the middle of a divorce.

uhh.. We're completely different people. Physical intimacy is really important to her, and I'm newly discovered asexual. I mean, I was always uncomfortable with sex, but I never realized how. I thought I had some kind of sex anxiety or something, but that's not it. So I can't provide what she needs and she can't provide what I need.

Also, I'm kind of feminine and submissive in most aspects in life, and she prefers a more confident, in charge kind of guy.

He said it was his mental health, and he could have no desires or feelings for someone. He said I was amazing and that he'd never met anyone remotely like me.

However he's now told me he's seeing someone, so I think he's full of shit.

He had a lot of mental health issues that he just wouldn't get help with.

He ended up being upset a lot because I didn't "react the way [he] wanted me to". In the end, I really did care about him a lot, but his clinginess and codependency on me was far too much for me to handle. He made it clear that he was unhappy, but also depended on me to make him happy. I tried very hard, but it was never good enough. Did my best to encourage and support him, but he just couldn't do right for himself.

He really was such a beautiful person, but loving someone is often not enough.

I really do hope that he is doing well now, wherever he is.

My ex was a Catholic and wanted children.

I'm an atheist and I'm childfree.

Curiously, I think kids had more weight in her decision to end it.

Probably my mental health issues, but I honestly can't really be too sure

Her being a narcissist.

My partner's mental health issues, her family's mental health issues, my partner's decision to return to their home country during a global pandemic (somewhere I couldn't follow) leaving me to fend for myself, and that was a decade long relationship down the tubes, welp.

she smash my things

He didn't want to be with someone clingy but framed it as codependency, when in reality I was going through an anxious attachment phase because I didn't want to fuck it up. My incessant worrying was to blame but his lack of empathy made it worse. In the end I think I dodged a bullet because he was a functional alcoholic.

The relationship had been becoming more and more difficult for me to maintain, and it should never be difficult to be with someone, so I was on the edge. She had a lot of problems. Then she started causing drama with my brother's fiancee for no reason, and that was enough for me.

She wanted kids, I didn't.
We're still best friends tho, since we do not resent each other for our own choices.

I... dunno.

My ex ignored me for like two weeks and had become closed of. He reinsured me, that everything was fine when i asked him. But the next time he visted me, he said that he wanted to break up, saying he made up his mind two weeks earlier. But i dunno his reason for it.

The break up was okay. I though about it myself, cause he treated me bad the whole 5 month we were together: he talked bad about my interessets and hobbys. He overstepped my bounderies. And everytime, i made him aware of that, he was like "you didn't make that clear enough". He made me push my bounderies.

Sadly, i allowed this kind of behaivor back than. I was used to it. During that time i did not know about adhd. I always acted weird as a woman and felt bad for not fitting in. I acted impulsive and had mood swings. I wanted someone to love me, accept me. So i excused these behaivors.

No. I did not allowed that behaivor. But he made me feel like i was crazy when i wanted to talk about how i felt.

Now i have more selfesteem, i am weird and loud and full of my ideas. I am in a beatiful relationship, i am loved and accepted as who i am. I But of course that expierence still hunts me. It still hurts.

She had been depressed and drifting away for a long time -- she broke up with her other partner first, then a while later with me. She wanted a monogamous relationship, but I think wasn't honest with herself about that for the last couple years of our relationship.

I'm still with my other long term partner, and she is engaged now to a guy who seems great and supportive. I miss her, but I love her and want her to be happy, so I'm glad she's found what she wants.

Time zones… LDR suck.

Incompatibility from the start due to her not entirely honest dating profile, I also looked past her red flags, baggage, and past trauma, because I thought to myself that everyone has those and that I should remain humble.