Now that the old Hexbear fork has been officially abandoned, this community will be used as a space for meta-discussion on the site itself.
I don't think I really need to explain much, their admins are transphobic. 
https://hexbear.net/post/1587342
Snowe, an admin, complained about a transgender person being offended over being misgendered. Ategon made an apology post but keeps snowe on, no public apologies from snowe to the transgender people affected.
Textbook 
note: conversation about Ategon's use of the word triggered edited out, might be misunderstanding, need clarified
I'm willing to hear Ategon out in this thread but generally agree. barring substantial changes in policy, we should defederate.
Every time I see a post that seems horribly out of place, it's usually programming.dev
I agree with defederating simply because their content isn't really what I'm looking for when I log in on Hexbear.
Shocked to learn that we are federated with programming.dev 
I'm not well-informed on this specific issue so I'll leave the specifics to those who are.
How to respond to unacceptable behavior is a recurring problem on all sorts of issues, though, and I think focusing on apologies is misguided. I've seen tons of insincere apologies and tons of sincere apologies that are criticized for not being enough. The priority (to me) seems like it should be stopping the behavior and addressing any damage done.
Makes sense to me, I see an apology as the smallest thing to do
I was thinking something along those lines, too -- I've seen apologies used to deflect from doing anything substantive to address the problem. "We've apologized, what do you want??"
I back this.
I've seen some pretty bad takes from programming.dev users to the point where I have a negative association with anyone who is from there, and I really am lazy and don't remember shit.
Don’t be pushed out of places by a vocal minority?
P.ds expectation that separating a users admin and posting accounts will fix the problems is asinine, but it doesn’t do much good to cede a space that’ll have you because there are stupid people there.
The two accounts is one aspect thats being added in for another problem that was also brought up in this situation (admin flairs always showing up) and theres some other ways we are dealing with the aspects like transphobia. I outlined a bit of a code of conduct and added it to the things in my queue for creating for the instance with user, mod & admin expected conducts (and all three of these public). Currently we just have rules in the sidebar but this should flesh them out more and let it be referenced well for transparent decisions and things to hold people accountable and help people improve on how they behave. Also have been dealing with things within the admin team and refined our current internal admin guidebook and added some sections there since thats already made while the other one finishes up and been making the admin team go through that. The expected conduct part wasnt in the initial meta post but ive been adding on and thinking/looking at suggestions for improvements for us to make. Also going to be doing an overhaul of our rules a bit once that finishes to reference it more
I get it and appreciate all the effort being put in.
Here’s hoping we can stay connected!