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Is it actually possible to change your personality
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this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2023
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Yeah, on a more serious note there are effective treatments for personality disorders, most notably DBT.
Also we’re all growing and changing all the time. I was once an awkward and unpleasant prude, these days I’m anything but. The thing about personality growth is it’ll happen whether you want them to or not unless you’re stagnating (also bad).
You just act the way you want to act, and keep doing it until it’s who you are. A Vonnegut quote I love is “we are who we pretend to be.” I pretended to be socially confident and it turned out to not be hard after some practice. I pretended to be cool with stuff that I didn’t like made me irrationally uncomfortable and wouldn’t you know I got comfortable around it. Pretend to be nice and wouldn’t you know it eventually becomes second nature.
And yeah it can go worse. Shut yourself off from new experiences and the outside gets scarier. Spend time with bigots and you may find yourself agreeing with them. Move to Pittsburgh and not only will you risk enjoying their football you may even dump your fries on your sandwich even when you’re in the civilized world.
Choose your actions carefully, you risk letting them determine who you become. It’s a lot easier to justify your behavior than to change your habits and instincts.
Yes. Mine changed because I changed it. I had BPD my entire life. My providers are certain I was born with it. I've always only ever known extremes and unstable relationships, until now- after a year of intense DBT treatment. I have changed my personality, my entire perspective on life, so yes. I hope the OP sees this. (I'm also bragging a bit, it only took a year to recover from a disorder I unknowingly had my entire life once diagnosed and was informed.) You have to rewire your entire fucking brain, but you can.
How much did that DBT cost you? It’s a pretty big undertaking right?
So, with my therapist's guidance, I was able to do my own after she picked out things I specifically needed to work on. I ordered a DBT spiral workbook and learned from there, I can now apply these skills daily. It's saved my relationships and life. And yes, you have to re-wire basically your entire brain and world view. I was able to get it done in about a year.