Image of a screenshot of Twitter of a screenshot of Facebook.
The Facebook screenshot reads:
Fun fact about me: When I'm having a conversation with you, I will periodically bring up personal experiences from my own life, interspersed withing your own stories that you're telling me. I'm not doing this to try and make the conversation about me, or to take away from your own experience. Actually, what I'm attempting to do, is to try and show you that I do, in fact, understand what you're trying to tell me, and that I am giving your story my full attention.
It can really be off-putting to some people, so if I've ever done this to you during a conversation, I just wanted to make sure you know that I wasn't trying to take over your story, I was just doing my best to connect with you in the moment.
The screenshot of Twitter reads:
This. I am fully aware that I do this. And I feel so guilty every time, but this. Understand this.
So, what ways do we know to demonstrate active involvement with someone's story? And when are they appropriate or inappropriate?
Can you think of any more? Are there cultural variations? Any other observations?
This is my big problem. In a group where people are telling stories about themselves, when it’s my turn, my stories are inappropriate somehow. In 50+ years, I still haven’t figured out what I say that’s wrong,
I’ve spent ages analysing my stories compared to others and I can’t figure out the difference, and no one will tell me. Is it the content (seems comparable) or how I tell it?
It seems better to just say ‘pass’ in those situations and stop engaging.
Are you being inappropriate or are you just misreading their reaction? My brother, who is neurodivergent, got very upset recently because he said he made a joke that offended everyone he worked with over a video chat. When I got the details from him, what actually happened is no one laughed and he thought that meant he had offended them.
I’m not sure there’s a correct answer to that, because the answer is technically yes, I think I’ve been inappropriate sometimes but also yes, I’ve been been told to stop sharing by several peers as an adult in several different settings, but not by anywhere near the number of peers I had.
Logically, it doesn’t make any sense to let a tiny percent outweigh the majority. It doesn’t feel nice, though.
e: tried to clarify