this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
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I mean ... As long as communication and intent are clear in both directions, being willing to get married isn't a red flag. My now wife wanted to get married a long time before I did and made that clear. We are now happily married with a child and both happy with that development because she made sure I knew what she wanted and I only disagreed with the timeline.
If this post is true, I'd say it's a good thing, at least without any context. Now the poster knows that
And if they were expecting to organically come to this conclusion through shared experience, that’s off the table.
I wouldn't say it's lost. If the relationship has good communication, the poster can simply explain to their girlfriend what happened. Hopefully, this can then just be a funny story to tell, perhaps at their eventual potential wedding.
The experience can be taken by those in the relationship to not mean anything other than that the girlfriend is not opposed to marriage. The poster can choose to not discuss their feelings on marriage, other than that this was unintentional and they're not ready yet. Then the relationship can develop as it would normally.
However, it's true that a lot of what I'm suggesting depends on the details of OP's relationship. Not knowing them, their situation, their relationship or their views on marriage, it is not impossible that this could cause problems.
Just say "That's lot from me, that's from Jose, the immigrant trapped in a sobe factory who is being enslaved by Pepsi Co under threat of deportation, and needs a marriage visa so he can pursue his dream of becoming a tailor. If you want to marry Jose, go ahead."