this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2023
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Programming
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I've been pulling my hair out with the totally unrelated but also awful Marketing Cloud (owned by Salesforce). This article made me feel better.
Have read this yet, but I’ll absolutely give a +1 for the “fuck marketing cloud” sentiment. It’s like Salesforce bought it, then gave up on it.
Had to contact support this week because (on top of an already infuriating week of marketing cloud bullcrap) an exit criteria in Journey Builder was firing when it shouldn't. Basically amounted to a string comparison of A = B? But one was from Contact Data and the other from Journey Data. And you know what their response was? "Yeah.. that won't work, you have to do B = A". I kid you not. What's worse is that actually fixed it! What a joke of a platform. How shit do you have to be at coding to end up making a string comparison non-commutative? Like..I don't even know how you'd screw up that badly accidentally. It's a veritable kaleidoscope of shitty infuriating bugs.
If B=A, why would you ever think A=B?! Learn your logic, man! That’s on you.
Really though, the structure for the program is just so aggravating. I’m a Pardot man myself. (Sorry. “Marketing Cloud Account Engagement.”) Every time I try to get a client to go with it, the AE’s jump in and desperately try to throw in Mobile Studio and everything else Marketing Cloud. I always go back to the client behind the scenes and warn them that if they go that route, I won’t set it up. It’s not worth the pain.