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submitted 1 year ago by case_when@feddit.uk to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

I'd be Cables Don't Tangle Man.

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[-] Delphia@lemmy.world 110 points 1 year ago

Being able to fall asleep and wake up exactly when I want to without an alarm man.

[-] Critical_Insight@feddit.uk 32 points 1 year ago

You guys have alarm mans? That sounds cool

[-] runeko@programming.dev 21 points 1 year ago

"Sir? Sir! It is well past time for you to begin your day. Yes, sir, I am well aware work, as you put it 'sucks ass', but never the less, it is time to rise and shine. I will be back tomorrow at the same time."

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[-] hitmyspot@aussie.zone 14 points 1 year ago
[-] Pechente@feddit.de 36 points 1 year ago

No no, the title says b-tier superpower

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[-] pseudorandom@kbin.social 75 points 1 year ago

I actually seem to have this one: Appropriately sized container man. I can find the best sized container when we have leftovers from cooking. Extra pasta sauce? This container fits it all in perfectly.

[-] sxan@midwest.social 33 points 1 year ago

IDK man, that's toeing the line of an A-tier power.

My wife has a version of this; it's perfect liquid measurement estimation woman. She never has to use measuring cups for liquids. I've actually bothered to test this power, and it's uncanny.

All I got was hysterical kitchen blindness man. I can't see things I'm looking for in the fridge or pantry, even when they're right in front of me.

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[-] HallaWorld@lemmy.ml 63 points 1 year ago

I don't know if this qualifies as "b-tier", but I'd really would like a superpower where when hearing a sound I knew exactly what made it.

I live in an old house, in the middle of a forest. Lots of weird noises both inside and outside. Being able to know if a sound I just heard requires my attention (i.e. "is that some animal messing around in my walls, or just the old wood squeaking") would be gold. The amount of times I've gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to investigate something is too damn high. After countless mice, vasps nests, birds, and various mammals deciding to move in with us, my paranoia levels have skyrocketed.

Would also sort out the "is that my kid crying, or just the draft through the vents"-question, as well as "is that normal wood settling noises, or is there more rot I've yet to find and the whole house is collapsing".

[-] scytale@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago

This sounds like a good premise for a horror story. You get your hearing superpower and everything is finally great, no need to get up and investigate benign noises. And then one day, you hear a sound that no matter what you do, you can’t tell what and where it’s coming from.

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[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 52 points 1 year ago

To actually fall asleep when my head hits the pillow, and then stay asleep until the alarm goes off.

[-] Sitkemkev@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago

Unless there's no alarm set, otherwise an untimely demise.

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[-] ApexHunter@lemmy.ml 39 points 1 year ago

I'd be perfect departure time man. Able to determine exactly when to leave in order to arrive at your destination on time, regardless of traffic, weather, or other conditions encountered along the way.

Not a B tier power, my God you just invented the governments secret delivery method. You're planning perfect extraction and invasion strategies, nuclear fall back evacuation routes. You just became a national secret, son.

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[-] Sigmatank@midwest.social 38 points 1 year ago

Free refill man. Just point my finger and any beverage is refilled.

[-] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 38 points 1 year ago

Sounds more like "solves water crisis man" to me. Point your finger at the colorado river and we are all set.

Your nemesis is Nestle. They want to put you in a locked room in the desert and pump sports drink out of you.

[-] cdrwil@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 year ago

I'd like to think that they could break out of Nestle jail by pointing at all the guards stomachs and giving them otherworldly acid reflux.

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[-] hellweaver666@discuss.tchncs.de 37 points 1 year ago

Finish a task without getting distracted after five minutes man.

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[-] SickPanda@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago

the B-Tier power I'd choose is to control bees

yes the pun is intended

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[-] iegod@lemm.ee 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I take perfect shits no matter what. Never constipated or have diahrea. Wipes are always perfectly clean.

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[-] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 29 points 1 year ago

What’s the opposite of procrastination?
Eagerness girl? That.. sounds wrong somehow.

[-] Thavron@lemmy.ca 37 points 1 year ago

All hail Productiva, Slayer of Tasks!

[-] thelsim@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 year ago

Fuck yes. I want that one!

[-] Transcendant@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago
[-] Heratiki@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 year ago

Wow now this is the superpower I want. I’d walk through my house in the dark with WILD ABANDON!

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[-] davidauz@feddit.it 26 points 1 year ago

Never get bitten by mosquitoes man.

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Can Always Find What I'm Looking For Man.

[-] Girru00@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

That is god teir!

  • Lost gold
  • A kidnap victim
  • Your target as a prof. hitman
  • Inspiration for your novel
  • A cure for cancer
  • A path to immortality
  • Your lost car keys

This could probably uplift any path you choose to take in life.

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[-] kambusha@feddit.ch 24 points 1 year ago

Every-time-I-go-to-sit-there-is-a-seat-man

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[-] Kushia@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 year ago

Food-doesnt-make-me-overweight-or-mess-up-my-health man.

So I can eat whatever I want and it's perfectly healthy for me whatever it is. I'd eat ao much ice cream it wouldn't be funny.

[-] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 year ago

That's a S tier super power.

[-] DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com 21 points 1 year ago

I already have mine, and it frustrates my wife no end. I'm Always Finds a Parking Spot Right Near Where We're Going Man, but only if I'm the one driving. When she's driving we end up on the wrong side of the parking lot.

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[-] onlooker@lemmy.ml 21 points 1 year ago

I would be Sleep-on-command man

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[-] Trebuchet@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago

Nothing gets stuck in my teeth man.

Or, doesn’t get acid reflux man.

[-] zigmus64@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

I fucking know a guy who claims he’s got no idea what heartburn is, and that he’s never had a headache. He’s about 70 years old and is probably the happiest most joyful person I’ve ever met.

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[-] VikingHippie@lemmy.wtf 18 points 1 year ago

B being secondary with A as the highest or tertiary with S as the highest?

If the former, I'll be Doesn't Overthink Everything Man

If the latter, I'll go with Correct Orientation of USB drives and Cables on First Try Man

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[-] nayminlwin@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago

I just wanna be No-health-problem man

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[-] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 18 points 1 year ago

Incredible massage dude. I want to be able to give incredible massages that relax muscles. Maybe the ability to relieve stress by touch. Bonus points if it works on myself, my shoulders suck.

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[-] schizohybrid@kbin.social 17 points 1 year ago

According to some, I have one! Perfectly-folded-fitted-sheets woman. Ultimately pretty meaningless, but satisfying nonetheless.

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[-] XaeroDegreaz@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

Single square of toilet paper man

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[-] Joe_0237@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 year ago

superpowers are s-tier by definition, if one were b-tier it would have to just be a power

[-] riskable@programming.dev 16 points 1 year ago

Low-current, 9V supply man

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[-] TheControlled@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

All dust disintegrates inside a 20 foot (6m) sphere around me at all times.

Edit: forgot the measurement scale

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[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

B-tier power: Exact Change. Any time I want to pay for something with cash, I have the power to reach into my pocket and pull out exactly the amount of cash money needed to do so. This has no effect on anyone's money anywhere else, like wallets or bank accounts - it just magically appears.

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[-] balderdash9@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 year ago

I'm going to go with good old fashioned, "extra luck". Never know when it's going to show up, but it would definitely improve your general disposition when things tend to go your way.

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[-] jimp@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago
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[-] TodaviaTyler@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

I want the "Flying Insects Cannot Touch Me" power.

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[-] quaddo@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

I've taken to using a checklist on my phone that I update daily. However, remembering to use it is still a problem at times.

So my B-tier power would be Remembers To Use Checklist At Least Once A Day Man.

[-] XEAL@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago

Undepressable man? Optimism man? Anti-anxiety man?

If those are too good, then: Instant death man

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this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2023
261 points (96.1% liked)

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