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I in no way call this "mediocre"; Its just a flat our terrible low budget bullshit film that the director made as an excuse to hang out with shirtless dudes.
But years ago the guys at Red Letter Media did a segment on "Bigfoot vs D.B. Cooper", and that premise alone (what happened after D.B. Cooper landed) has lived in my brain ever since.
It legitimately angers me that such a great high concept idea was completely wasted on what basically amounts to gay porn.
Cabin in the woods
Cabin in the Woods is fine art.
10/10 Premise 10/10 Execution
I'm helping my teenager get through all the horror tropes so we can watch Cabin in the Woods together.
CATS
Cats is not a complicated musical. All they had to do was animate it and get actual voice actors/singers. I've seen sketches for what I think was a Tim Burton sketch, and that would have been a million times better. I don't know who looked at Cat's and was like, "Yup, we need CGI." It looks horrendous and sounds bad more often than not. The musical is already pretty out there, how much more fun would that movie had been if we had animators working on it. The creative visuals, colors, motifs. Not to mention a cat is a wonderfully complex animal to animate just because of how they move. That movie could have been a visual delight in part with the Spiderman movies if they let it, but noooooo. Let's make a nightmare.
The Last Jedi was an amazing deconstruction of Star Wars. I don't think better execution would have helped it with a fan base that wants to be stuck in the past reliving the hero's journey ad nauseam but it had a lot more potential than you see on screen.
Disagree. The first two sequels kept making a defeated bad empire stronger and stronger without any explanation. The rebels then suddenly became just 400 to 20 people. A different type of journey would have been welcomed with open arms if clever enough.
And I think embracing the jedi, but killing the wars aspect, rather than trying to destroy the jedi but keeping the wars it would have been a much better answer to the franchise.
with a fan base that wants to be stuck in the past reliving the hero's journey ad nauseam
This seems counter to most complaints I've seen about the movie that they just rehashed the original trilogy.
What was that anime where you wear a VR headset and if you die in-game, you die in real life?
Ya that one
Sword Art Online had a pretty decent few opening episodes, it just.... for some reason decided to go full-blown Knights of Sidonia and turn itself into a weird harem anime.
I HIGHLY recommend the SAO Abridged series. It's one of the few "parody/satire" projects that actually makes the original story better and most regard SAO Abridged as the better version as a whole.
The ideas behind They Live are fascinating and deserved better treatment than a 20-minute alley fight about sunglasses.
Timeline! The movie was completely forgettable but the concept was pretty cool. I loved the book.
New Rose Hotel (1998) It's set in the same universe as Johnny Mnemonic, stars Christopher Walken, Willem Dafoe, and Asia Argento. I love Gibson stories and the short story it's based on, while not one of his best, could make a good creepy weird movie especially with that cast. Unfortunately it is one of the most boring movies I've sat through at least half a dozen times.
I am 100% convinced they had a masterpiece and then test audiences didn't get it and they went and changed everything around and added the prologue and gave away the entire twist at the start by explicitly telling the viewer where and when we are. Also made the dinosaurs weird for .... reasons...?
Oof. Having the statue of liberty there on the opening credits of Planet of the Apes
Highlander II
The Dark Tower
It's a long list but these two were painful.