this post was submitted on 26 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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(page 2) 50 comments
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[–] Zahtu@feddit.org 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Easy: 3x Pill No. 9 please.

One for me (depends on what "a Lot of Money" means), and the other two i will use to either: a) give to Close Friends and/or Family B) a complete Stranger from the streets C) keep in storage for my Offspring when they are in a Pinch of losing the family wealth that i built

No one says you gonna take the pills you Pick. Certainly that way you could also Take 2x No. 1 for your worst enemies (or CEOs)

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 6 points 4 days ago
[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago

5,6,9 easy.

Some are void if you are always happy.

[–] HerrVorragend@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Caitlyynn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 days ago

None please

[–] atlien51@lemm.ee 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

No more shopping for groceries, you have to forage in the woods from here on out

[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Revenge of the MonkeyPaw:

1 you are allergic to eating fat and can no longer eat any fat whatsoever.

2 your body has lost its ability to process nutrients, making you starve to death.

3 you’re banned from every store on earth.

4 only your neck gets 5cm longer.

5 but only in your dreams.

6 you can not feel anything but happiness - no pain, anger, sadness, nothing but joy.

7 and you’re awaiting your trial as you’re a KKK NeoNazi kult leader.

8 you get Alzheimer’s disease.

9 but you cannot access it because the government froze your account due to being investigated in a money laundering scheme.

[–] JiminaMann@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Ah yes my favourite trend of monkey paw: removing the fking benefit instead of giving side effects, while making things worse

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[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

2, 6, 9. Health, happiness, comfortable life.

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 6 points 4 days ago
[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago
[–] isekaihero@ani.social 3 points 4 days ago

2, 5, 9

I would be so happy.

[–] Pudutr0n@feddit.cl 6 points 4 days ago (2 children)
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[–] biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works 4 points 4 days ago (2 children)
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[–] Jumpingspiderman@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

2, 5, and 9 for me

[–] lud@lemm.ee 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I choose 5 and 9. I really have no interest in any of the others.

[–] SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

After 9 you can just buy all the others or the process described

[–] chunes@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

5, 6, 9. Come on now.

[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

All you need is 6, the rest are just things you hope will make you happy.

[–] dutchkimble@lemy.lol 2 points 4 days ago
[–] laranis@lemmy.zip 2 points 4 days ago

#4 three times. The rest seem fleeting (money) or attainable through hard work (strength). Unlike others in these comments, I think being happy constantly would be its own type of hell.

But being tall is like being attractive. It is life on easy mode. As a slightly-less-than-average-height person an extra 6 inches would probably be the most permanent, positive impact any of these would have.

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