"You should have saved up a bit more and bought something less gaudy"

I guess it's true, money can't buy taste.

Fun fact: Alec Baldwin's character was invented for the movie to provide exposition. The filmmakers didn't trust movie-going audiences to pick up the information from the three conversations that occur at the beginning of the play.

I don't have a car

I don't care to respond

I don't mind sounding poor.

Wealth beyond what is good for you is no better than theft I'd say. Buying expensive watches while little children grow up in poverty is nothing to be proud of. If anyone should feel shame it should be that guy. Don't be humiliated by such shameless assholes. And don't try to counter attack, It won't work, they don't share your values, they feel no shame for the things that they do. Instead let's organize and fight them where it hurts. Taxes, taxes, taxes.

Sad as fuck that you need expensive set pieces to maintain the facade of your self worth. If I were over here wearing a Timex I'd still be fine with who I was. Would you?

Barf in his face.

If only you had learned to tell time.

A shame, such a tasteless choice. If you had as much class as money, you'd have chosen something like a vintage 1960s submariner rather than a frivolous toy available on every high street in the world.

Why the fuck would I drive a watch ?

"Timex?"

"that's cute!"

"You got ripped off"

'nice watch!' then move in and quietly say "oh, hey, it looks like your barber missed a spot back there"

All these comments are trying too hard. The only two options are "OK?" and "that watch?"

Verbose disses only work in rap

Woow, what does it do?

• It tells time.

Nothing else? So does my car.

Such frivolous spenditure will rot your money. Decay of your father's fortune and your child's kingdom. Begotten by weak flesh and temptation, coward from strength.

Even the homeless know to not show your power before you speak, or your trades will be levied against you.

I have people who love me.

• Your clock stopped. (Looks at the clock)
• No it's still working.
• You are bald on tip of your head I saw it when you were looking at the clock.

"good for you, little guy"

I feel like owning expensive stuff like that is non optional for the very rich. Those who answer things like "my phone already does that" do sound poor. They don't buy it because they need the time. They buy it because it looks nice and is expensive.

I think I would make a disgusted face and say something like "really? It doesn't look like it. What brand is it?"

"and i have a piece of cardboard thats worth more than your watch" whips out a charizard

You still use a watch?

K

Just smile non-genuinely and say "Sure."

So you could have donated that money to a food bank or homeless shelter and gotten a tax break. Or you could have just kept it and invested in dividend paying stock, but instead you spent it on a watch that tells you the same time as my $20 watch?

I can read digital clocks faster.

“Your watch cost more than £100?”

seems like a giant waste of money when you have phone that has the time on it.

Either dishonest affirmation or "That's nice, buddy" and touch his shoulder.

With people you might need later it's the first option, the second if you want to piss off narcissists.

Can you go careening around twisty mountain roads with the top down with a 6 speed manual stick with that watch? No? I'll take my Miata any day. Good luck with your time keeping.

Good for you, why should I care?

Fool and his money.

What kind of dumbass would spend that much on a watch?

Grabs machete
Thanks for showing me where to find it. /j

Imagine not being able to tell the time by just looking up

Nice.