this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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(page 5) 50 comments
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[–] Aeao@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

What time is it?

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Big deal- I also have a small cock."

No wait I wanna change it to "I have a small cock too, but nobody can tell just by looking at me"

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

This isn't a car

Shoot the man.

[–] Rooskie91@discuss.online 3 points 1 week ago

"Wow, I guess you really CAN'T buy taste then"

[–] amorpheus@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

That's how they'll know whose assets to liquidate when the world wakes up.

[–] Sneptaur@pawb.social 3 points 1 week ago

Compliment it and remember that the guy is an asshole lmao

[–] technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago

Barf in his face.

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] whereisk@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Has this one done it? or how many such watches in do you get to be happy?

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Cool. Anyway...

[–] socsa@piefed.social 3 points 1 week ago

Cool story bro

[–] RadioFreeArabia@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Imagine not being able to tell the time by just looking up

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[–] sjoeqie@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago

I don't have a car

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

"Oh, am I supposed to kiss it?"

[–] VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 week ago

Realize you mistakenly spoke to a Baldwin and walk away

[–] cepelinas@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago
[–] MangioneDontMiss@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

seems like a giant waste of money when you have phone that has the time on it.

[–] BearGun@ttrpg.network 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Not gonna argue that it's not a waste of money to get a watch that expensive, but just having a watch is quite nice. Not having to fish my phone out of my pocket and click the power button every time i want to check the time is something i appreciate.

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[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] LemmyFeed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] __nobodynowhere@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so.

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[–] oppy1984@lemm.ee 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

So you could have donated that money to a food bank or homeless shelter and gotten a tax break. Or you could have just kept it and invested in dividend paying stock, but instead you spent it on a watch that tells you the same time as my $20 watch?

[–] sunflowercowboy@feddit.org 2 points 1 week ago

Such frivolous spenditure will rot your money. Decay of your father's fortune and your child's kingdom. Begotten by weak flesh and temptation, coward from strength.

Even the homeless know to not show your power before you speak, or your trades will be levied against you.

[–] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 2 points 1 week ago

Yes, but do you have brass balls?

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I think I made the better choice.

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

"It must be so tedious being bound in the literal shackles of time. Worse yet to attach ones sense of manhood to their own enslavement. Even moreso to celebrate it with an even fancier manacle... I'm going to go enjoy a coffee. I'll be back whenever I'm done."

[–] KindnessIsPunk@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

I eat them.

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