Asklemmy

I only tip if someone had to do something to get me that food/experience. Picking up food to take home? No tip. The restaurant makes you get your own food from the counter and do your own refills? No tip. The checkout screen might have a tip, but I'm putting 0.

It's not really your personal responsibility, it's the restaurant owners responsibility. If people aren't getting enough tips in a restaurant where tips are the big draw, and that causes wait staff to quit, the restaurant owner should be paying his people to subsidize that.

15-20% also is not a hard rule. There's a lot of places where I live that try to pass off costlier food in shitty atmosphere (think 30 dollar entrees, but the server sees you twice and it's a "theme" restaurant). If I think someone did well and engaged with us as customers and were pretty good about making suggestions on the menu or being extra attentive to drink refills, then guaranteed they're getting within that 15-20%. Anything less than that, then I as the customer who only gets to make that judgement call off of the limited interaction we have, and you'll get 7-10% or 5 bucks, whichever is bigger.

I already replied but I just wanted a top level comment regarding:

that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference

That tip expense would be paid either way. There's no difference between charging $9 for a sandwich and tipping $1 vs being charged $10 for the sandwich and no tip. All costs always get passed down to the consumer no matter what, that's just how it works. So it isn't an "extra" expense. It is, was, and always will be in there, one way or another. I agree tipping is weird, inefficient, and difficult to understand, but you're gonna pay no matter what.

No

Yes, if you don’t tip they will call you a Canadian or worse.

You should take a look at https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_US_states_by_minimum_wage and see what the minimum wage is in the state you are visiting. The minimum wage where I am is one of the highest in the nation so I don’t tip anymore.

Edit: I am aware many states have below federal minimum for tipped employees. My point was if they’re visiting one of the states with a high minimum wage, they should forgo tipping. Nobody below bothered to link it, but here's the minimum wage page for tipped employees: https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/state/minimum-wage/tipped. It's worth noting that even in the states that can pay tipped employee as little as $2.13/hr, the employees never actually make less than the federal minimum of $7.25/hr because the employer has to make up the difference if the employee doesn't make enough in tips, not that $7.25/hr is even remotely a livable wage in 2023...

Regardless, tipping is an inherently flawed system, and it's not the responsibility of the consumer to pay specifically the server a living wage while everyone in the kitchen suffers (I would know, I've been there). If you're not happy with the wage laws in your state, get involved in politics and exercise your right to vote to do something about it.

you absolutely are the asshole if you don't tip. if you can't afford to tip, then don't eat out/just hit up fast food/go anywhere where people are paid a decent wage. most servers make under $5 an hour. if you're not tipping, you're directly exploiting them.

Grab a gun ASAP maybe you could need it.

OP is probably American and trying to start a discussion. Just accept it as how things are done here and move on. It's really not that bad if you expect it

No, you don't have to tip. Really unfortunate that some people rely on tips for their wage, but If you don't tip, you're NTA.

Honestly dude if you cant afford to tip. You have no business eating out in america. As a former tip worker, ya they us about 5$ an hour BECAUSE the workers make up for it in tips. and thats a big IF. theirs no obligation on the employer to make sure that they actually come up positive. and Ultimately if you dont tip because you dont agree with tipping? You just forced one of the poorest members of our country to serve you for literally 3$ which quite honestly? kinda makes you a piece of shit if you do that.