this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
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[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 22 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

Why would I ruin someone else's day by talking to them? I'm sorry they even have to look at me.

[–] RedFortress@lemmygrad.ml 22 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Why would you think so low of yourself?

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 12 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

That's like asking someone who is blind why they don't have a favorite color imo

I literally can't understand the idea that some people don't feel that way, even if intellectually I know it's irrational.

[–] Shrike502@lemmygrad.ml 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You don't understand the idea that someone might enjoy talking to you?

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I can't imagine someone wanting a stranger to interrupt their day and talk at them.

[–] nephs@lemmygrad.ml 14 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes the unexpected is welcome. :)

In covid quarantine times it was nice to be greeted by strangers going outside. An acknowledgement we were all going through weird times. For example.

We're kind of still going through weird times. Maybe acknowledging it collectively could help things changing faster. :D

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 6 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Again, can't imagine it.

You might as well say that sometimes you like to drink boiling tar. It's alien to me.

[–] nephs@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 9 months ago

I understand. I don't initiate random talks to strangers, outside. :)

But I've had it happen to me. And it's generally not completely horrible.

[–] redtea@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

What about under socialism? There was a time when you wouldn't really bump into 'strangers' because you'd roughly know everyone in your area. From the market, the village, etc. Do you happen to live somewhere that most of the people you see are people you'll never see again?

Edit: it starts with a nod or a smile, maybe a shared grimmace because you've been caught in the rain or an aggressive driver stopped one of you crossing the road, then a hello, then a how's your day, etc, but I can't walk the dog without stopping to have a quick conversation or two with people who were once completely strangers and now are still strangers but friendly ones. This kind of thing just seems so natural. I don't think either of us are 'interrupting' each other's days.

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 5 points 9 months ago

I do think it's because, under capitalism, every moment of free time is rare and precious. It feels like I'm stealing what little slice of freedom they have if I talk at them, or I'm disrupting whatever schedule they have created to squeeze time for themselves.

And really, I'm just projecting my own feelings, and I know that's irrational but it doesn't stop me from doing it lol

[–] rainpizza@lemmygrad.ml 15 points 9 months ago

You won't ruin my day if you talk to me, comrade! 🙃

[–] ComradeSalad@lemmygrad.ml 21 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

My local library has many events for essentially every interest known to man and all for free. Its fun going to random meetings to have a blast and meet people. Its how I picked up knitting even though I thought I wouldn't like it.

Photography clubs, chess, art clubs, DnD, writing, math, gardening, science, astronomy, "read with dogs", many many reading groups, yoga, business meetings, entry CS meetings, board games, mock interviews, resume building, web design club, various seminars, coffee hours, activism meetings, and so much more.

Check out your local library.

[–] idkmybffjoeysteel@hexbear.net 12 points 9 months ago

Haha, I don't meet people. Seriously. Even when I do meet people, I can't even seem to break past the small talk phase, and I don't really feel like others try either.

But also I go to boxing classes and the people there are nice. I have also organised meet ups with strangers on reddit for d&d, and saw people would be up for reading groups as well but never followed through with those.

[–] Drewfro66@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 9 months ago

At the moment, I play DnD online, I'm active in the Party for Socialism and Liberation, and I use dating apps. I also make a point to get lunch at a pub at least once a week (usually no one talks to me, but it's nice to just be around other people), and of course there's work.

I've been trying to convince the PSL Liberation Center committee to let me run a game night at the Liberation Center every other week, which should also be a nice way of meeting people.

When the weather clears I also like to go on walks at the park.

I guess something to understand about the modern world we live in is that the vast, vast majority of our interactions with others are superficial. Having close friends other than romantic partners is rare (especially for men), and if you don't have any, it's normal, you aren't failing in some way.

[–] KrupskayaPraxis@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 9 months ago

I love music, and have started a CD collection. I also want to go to concerts more often. I'll meet some old school mates at my next concert. I'm into politics as well, which is how I was able to become a communist. I meet people at party meetings. I'm into sports as well, and you'll meet people when you go to a sports bar or a live game. I'm also into geography and cultures, but don't know how that will make me meet people. Maybe by taking language classes?

[–] yogthos@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 9 months ago

I do programming meetups, martial arts, and photography, as my social hobbies.

[–] ledlecreeper27@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 9 months ago

I usually meet people through school or sports.

[–] Shaggy0291@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 9 months ago

I've met a lot of people by getting active in my party. The more I take on, the more I meet.

[–] keepcarrot@hexbear.net 7 points 9 months ago

I do art in public spaces and people sometimes come and chat or just watch. I'm not their therapist. Idk what's up

[–] rainpizza@lemmygrad.ml 6 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I usually go to salsa classes, the gym, the basketball court, my work's social gatherings and any active social org that are helping people.

[–] roux@hexbear.net 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

My hobbies are severe depression and job searching currently.

I also read, watch horror movies, play video games, and sometimes try to program but am giving up on that.

I try not to meet new people.

[–] Skipper1402@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Why are you giving up on programming?

[–] roux@hexbear.net 1 points 9 months ago

According to my employment history, I'm horrible at it.

I have a degree in it, took my 6 years to get a job, and got fired from it after a little over a year.

[–] peppersky@hexbear.net 4 points 9 months ago

Outside of university and the little political activism I so there I really don't meet anyone. My hobbies (photography, music production and films) don't really lend themselves to meeting people either I feel

[–] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 9 months ago
[–] PoY@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

i don't.. i read at home, i watch movies with my partner at home, we play games and do puzzles at home.. neither of us have friends really but neither of us really care either

[–] Skipper1402@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

How did you meet your partner?

[–] PoY@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

We both lived in the same student housing in college and met at the bus stop one particularly frozen morning waiting for the bus.

[–] Skipper1402@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Super sweet! Did you proceed to slowly become best friends after that?

[–] PoY@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Not really slowly.. I ran into her again a couple days later and I remembered her name but she didn't remember mine and that pretty much sealed the deal. We started talking on Facebook and MSN Messenger and then became boyfriend/girlfriend shortly thereafter. :)

[–] Skipper1402@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

How her not remembering your name sealed the deal? Haha

[–] PoY@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

because my name is super simple and hers is very uncommon and hard for americans to pronounce

[–] Skipper1402@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] PoY@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 9 months ago

yeah.. that was a big score in her eyes, since most people struggle to pronounce her name, much less remember it

[–] LarkinDePark@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 9 months ago

Watching football (soccer). This is a good way to have instant comradeship with perfect strangers too.