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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by cygnus_velum@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

This has been on my mind lately. My dad is going through it, his sister has got it pretty bad and I apparently have the predisposed gene to get in my future.

I’m leaning no because I wouldn’t want to make my child go through slowly watching their dad’s mind leave them and also potentially pass it on to them when they get older.

It’s thrown me for a loop since I always imagined myself having kids and I’m around that age now.

What do you think?


Edit: I just want to say that I did not expect the kind of response this post got. I’m grateful for all of your comments and the perspectives it’s allowed me to peak into.

I also should mention that were I to have children they would most certainly not be burdened by being the crutch of my own personal journey of accepting and loving who I am. That is work for me alone and I would never unload that responsibility onto those I love and especially those who I’d be raising.

As for my partner not wanting kids, I would never consider forcing or persuading them to raise a child when they know for certain it’s not in their cards. This is another element in how I’ve been navigating this question. I love her with everything I have and I can’t imagine us being apart and yet there is a pang that lingers of the father I assumed I would eventually become.

Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful replies. They’ve helped so much especially since this is the first time I’ve voiced these thoughts.

(page 2) 12 comments
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[-] DeaDSouL@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

Of course I would. Even if I knew I’m getting it in 10 years after having kids.. Because I want to make sure they learn from the person (me) who loves them more than himself. I want them to prepared for the crazy ideas out there. I want to raise them with love. I want to tell them the truth about the lies that unfortunately so many people are believing. I want to prepare them to understand the life, and face when they have to.

[-] nyakojiru@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 year ago

What kids?…

[-] jeebus@kbin.social -1 points 1 year ago

Live your life my friend. I just had a baby and besides the lack of sleep, it is the most wonderful thing. Good luck!

[-] Sibbo@sopuli.xyz -3 points 1 year ago

You can't escape your fate, but you can choose to gift life to someone and care for them lovingly. They might then return the favour and have a very positive effect on your mental state when your brain starts to degrade. Maybe that's a selfish reason.

[-] banana_meccanica@feddit.it -3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I think no one that have kids have asked himself this kind of questions, and I don't know if is bad or good because emotionally the answer is no but logically the human race keep existing by new generations, no matter what.

[-] AverageCakeSlice@sh.itjust.works -4 points 1 year ago

You could get hit by a truck the day after having your child leaving them without a parent. Don’t let fear hold you back. No one lives without experiencing any suffering at all, it’s just part of life. If you love your children and care for them, then they’re already setup to have a much better life than most will.

[-] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world -4 points 1 year ago

Of course, who else is going to take care of me when I have Alzheimer's?

Seriously, my mom died of Alzheimer's, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to get it. And we're not talking about a disease that someone is going to suffer from their whole lives. If you had your kids at 25, they'd be 40 when you got Alzheimer's.

It's a completely shitty disease, especially for the family, but you're going to die of something, and some of the options are worse still.

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this post was submitted on 20 Aug 2023
130 points (96.4% liked)

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