this post was submitted on 23 May 2024
597 points (96.0% liked)
Greentext
4368 readers
2607 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
lol
Easy test: do the parts still have cum stains on them?
Obviously the Theseus gnomes account for that. They're goddamn professionals.
But then it's not your cum anymore
They're very thorough.
That's psychosis, isn't it.
Psychosis and/or schizophrenia. This is a more common type of schizophrenia as opposed to hearing voices etc.
Could be something related to Capgras delusion.
Delusional misidentification syndrome is an umbrella term … for a group of four delusional disorders that occur in the context of mental and neurological illness. They are grouped together as they often occur simultaneously or interchange, and they display the common concept of the double (sosie). They all involve a belief that the identity of a person, object, or place has somehow changed or has been altered. [Author] Christodoulu further categorized these disorders into those including hypo (or under)-identification of a well-known person (Capgras delusion), and hyper (or over)-identification of an unknown person (the remaining three). As these delusions typically only concern one particular topic, they also fall under the category called monothematic delusions.
Interesting!
"Syndrome of delusional companions is the belief that objects (such as soft toys) are sentient beings." Wait so does Calvin have this?
This article is awesome.
This put a light on Twin Peaks world and more generally David Lynch work. I think most of these delusions are present in his movies.
be me
using pc
need to pee
pees
Am I the only one who initially thought anon peeded his pants?
It never actually says he didn't piss his pants, just that he left the room briefly. It's a greentext so for all we know he only left the room to get someone to help him change his diaper lol
or get a mop
Motherfucking Theseus gnomes. Always fucking shit up. They keep switching out my testicles. I have no idea where they came from.
Also, I thought it said thesaurus gnomes the first time I read it, which is still kinda funny.
it's funny, comical, and humorous!
Mirthful even!
Okay, I know how to stop them. I'll tell you the steps one at a time. First, take your meds.
Don't listen to this fool with his big pharma lies, what you gotta do is cover your computer desk with a layer of spray on glue, when you leave those little shits will come and get stuck, now you have your own magic prisoners!
I use mine yo help with small things, one of them is amazing at painting nails. Best 5 bucks I've spent.
Take another hit of DMT, anon. You just need to break through.
be me
go pee
dark hallway
have to be fast so the darkness won't catch me
Easy, check your cpu's cache. Also the unused portions of your disk and memory.
they do a full reimage of your disk, what do you think they are, amateurs?
Is that physically possible? Even if they can replace physical parts at absurd speeds, they may not be able to do full data transfer. Also, still the cache
Is this why sometimes my computer says I don't have permission to access my files?
You're not the administrator anymore dummy, the gnomes are. What you gotta do is wait until 3 am (peek gnome hour) and wait for them to emerge, hold one hostage and demand that gnome tech support reinstate you as admin. It's pretty easy really, just use pepper jack cheese as bait, gnomes fucking live ppj cheese
Similarly, I'm pretty sure I've been raped by a ninja but how would you know?
load more comments
(2 replies)
Glad that's not happening to me. I've had the same PC since 2007.
They also replaced every neuron in his brain.
you gotta put a piece of tape on there. if the tape moved then you know they did it
What if they replace everything even the tape?
I don't think they would
Write your name on the PC
What if they replace your name with your name. Is it still your name?
load more comments
(1 replies)
This must be a Chad post... All true cultured gentlemen have a proprietary blend of dried Mountain Dew and Cheeto dust coating all parts of their PCs that no gnome could ever replicate! To make everything extra secure one should also leave some personal deposits on all components for true biometric verification!
The gnomes are gifted semen forgers.
Pee on it to mark it.
Where the fuck did “Theseus Gnomes” come from?!?!
Ain’t no such thing in classical mythology.
It's made up, from the classic Theseus's Ship paradox.
Ok fair enough.
Look, machine elves are union. Some people cheap out.
Who do you think rebuilt the ship of theseus
It's right in the name lol
view more: next ›