this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2024
404 points (93.5% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26702 readers
3384 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 68 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I don't know which of you degenerates need to hear this, but: DO NOT FUCK THE PINEAPPLE!

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 4 months ago (5 children)

I'm afraid to ask, but you seem experienced, so here goes: why not?

[–] TheMightyCanuck@sh.itjust.works 48 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Just a shot in the dark here... But pineapple enzymes are strong enough to eat the skin inside your mouth...

Now imagine that but on the much more sensitive skin of your dick

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 13 points 4 months ago

Good point.

[–] AEsheron@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago

Pineapple is so metal, fucking fruit that tries to eat you back.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 35 points 4 months ago (6 children)

The juice is highly acidic to the point of being able to tenderize meats without assistance

Put your salami in that and it's gonna come out looking like chorizo

[–] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 18 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (8 children)

It's actually not (just) the acidity. Pineapples and several other tropical fruits have an enzyme called papain that breaks down peptide bonds in a rather unique way, to the point that the texture of the meat can become quite off-putting if the enzyme is not used properly

Edit: acidic or not, it's definitely best not to put any sensitive parts of your anatomy in pineapple juice

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] laranis@lemmy.zip 18 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Put your salami in that and it's gonna come out looking like chorizo

Pure poetry. Your words have convinced me to keep my junk outta exotic fruits.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] MudSkipperKisser@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

I’d like to be known as someone who “tenderizes meats without assistance”, that seems like a compliment of the highest order

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

Put your salami in that and it's gonna come out looking like chorizo

Sentences you never thought you’d read.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] far_university1990@feddit.de 17 points 4 months ago

Pineapple has enzyme that eat flesh

[–] its_prolly_fine@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 months ago

Pineapple juice can be used as a meat tenderizer, for cooking.

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 5 points 4 months ago

It's juice is very acidic and will not feel good when it gets inside your urethra.

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

They said if you eat lots of pineapple it makes your cream filling taste sweeter.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] ThrowawaySobriquet@lemmy.world 61 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] kewwwi@lemmy.world 134 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Purple_drink@lemmy.world 24 points 4 months ago
[–] EfreetSK@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

That's how you get maggots

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 4 months ago

Oh no vietnam flashbacks

[–] Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works 34 points 4 months ago (2 children)

"What's up everybody it's critical, today I bought the 1.2 million dollar fuckable grapefruit"

[–] Qkall@lemmy.ml 8 points 4 months ago

I don't care if I go blind, I don't need to see the price tag anyway

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

Somehow, the "sold out" is the worst part 😄

[–] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 23 points 4 months ago

Dude, that's not what melon-baller means.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Where's the link to the video? I remember watching this guy fuck various pasta dishes.

[–] kewwwi@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)
[–] PmMeFrogMemes@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago

ooh buddy you're in for a treat

[–] tabarnaski@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 months ago

The guys name is John Kilo.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Yareckt@lemmynsfw.com 14 points 4 months ago (4 children)

Is this guy trying to fertilize a boiled ostruch egg?

[–] NielsBohron@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I believe that's a cantaloupe.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 4 months ago

Well they might have to if he got it pregnant.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] BluesF@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago (1 children)

No I will not fucking hear you out Jeremy

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Bezzelbob@lemmy.world 14 points 4 months ago

Bro is single handedly gonna discover the first human×fruit homunculus

[–] corus_kt@lemmy.world 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Hard to tell if that's a shadow or if he REALLY enjoyed the pineapple

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 50 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Rustmilian@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Fact : Pineapples have tiny needles that cause irritation.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago
[–] db2@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] RagnarokOnline@programming.dev 7 points 4 months ago

A man of culture

[–] MrEff@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago (5 children)

And? What were the results?? This man has done science for us, what were the results?!?!?

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Noodle07@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

If you can grapefruit your man, maybe other fruits works?

[–] EndlessApollo@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

I wish she'd post on lemmy 196, this was a fun running gag :3

[–] Bruhh@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago

Your fruit fucking skills are remarkable.

[–] yesoutwater@lemm.ee 7 points 4 months ago
[–] ATDA@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Is this the prep step for American Pie?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] jaschen@lemm.ee 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'm not going to kink shame. At least nobody(or animals) were hurt from his activity.

[–] Marthirial@lemmy.world 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Someone needs to explain to that dude how new fruit is made.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›