Pretty sure this post is a honeypot

Ex girlfriend then...

She'll be confused about the situation but it's not like I have any strange files or anything, if that's what you mean

@original_ish_name

I'll just replace "girlfriend" with "wife" since I am married —

Nothing happens. My wife knows me well. There isn't anything I think would surprise her.

It's all Linux isos and indie games and project files from game engines/programming languages that I got distracted from. If I had somehow convinced her that I was funny or interesting, all of that magic is now gone.

My wife and merged CD and DVD collections years ago and all our photo albums and documents (in binders) are all in the office, so I guess technically we have access to each others files... does this count?

My parents would finally be proud that im not longer gay

She'd probably blush because I have a lot of pictures of her I never bothered to send her.

Pornography starring Scout's mother.

Delete System32

nothing because I am paranoid

Which girlfriend are we talking about here?

nothing much

An avalanche of boredom ensues.

Also a great disappointment in my interest in Linux memes.

Not much probably, even discounting the fact that I have no girlfriend I am so bad at keeping files ordered that it is pretty hard to actually find stuff by following file paths and even then the most incriminating things that I have are just loads of pirated games.

i haven't hidden files from my pass two girlfriends. the had complete access to my computer, and i showed them where all the risque stuff was at. while i dont have one now, if i had a girlfriend, we'd probably have some kinky sex.