this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023
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Asklemmy

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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by shapis@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
 

I have a few questions on how to best behave to be as welcoming and inclusive as possible without sounding bad. I hope you guys don't hate me.

I'm just a straight male. Are my pronouns he/him? Is that how I should tell people? Do you actually tell them as you meet them ? Do I have to wait for a certain social cue ?

How about online. Should I tell people or have it on my personal profile somewhere?

And about respecting other people's pronouns. How do i figure them out ? Is it a big faux pas if I don't before I know them ? Is it a faux pas if I refer to someone I just met and I assumed to be male as he/him?

I've never seen anyone referring to anyone irl by non conventional pronouns. Is it an actual thing or is it currently being pushed to make the world a more inclusive place?

I'd love some help with all of this.

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[โ€“] BuddyTheBeefalo@lemmy.ml -2 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I find the use of the term guys exclusive.

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[โ€“] pixxelkick@lemmy.world -3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Your pronouns are the ones you want to be referred to as, its that simple. So yeah, he/him if thats what you want people to use.

As for gender neutral pronouns, I just use them by default for everyone, especially on the internet when you have no idea who you are talking to as it is all anonymous (unless they have specified their pronouns in their bio/profile of course)

But overall you just get in the habit of using "they/them" unless explicitly you know their gender.

Once you get in the habit of it, it becomes more natural and you stop thinking about it.

Thats pretty much all there is to it, its quite simple and people who moan and complain about gender stuff are either:

  1. Lazy, and dont want to put in the 1% of effort it requires to not be shitty

  2. Really just bigoted but cant admit it out loud, so they complain about such things as a dog whistle to other bigots

  3. Are extremely misinformed about what is expected of them. They seriously think the real world is out to get them, and that if they misgender someone they'll get attacked for it (in reality maybe 1 person coughs uncomfortably and they get informed as an aside awkwardly). Non zero chance these folks also think vaccines cause autism and 5G causes cancer.

[โ€“] systemglitch@lemmy.world -3 points 1 year ago (8 children)

Or... hear me out... this is insanity being given a voice and should be pushed back against, like so many other unhealthy things.

Yep, that does in fact sum it up

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[โ€“] riley0@lemmy.dbzer0.com -3 points 1 year ago

Don't ask for other people to identify you, please.

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