You're forgetting winget. It's actually really good.
linuxmemes
Hint: :q!
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Winget sucks ass. Fails half of the time, lists way too much I did not install through Winget m, even had apps broken because of bad updates through Winget.
Never had these problems with scoop or chocolatey though.
Wait till you accidentally overwrite the system python.
I don't know about all the arguing and snark, but... I've been using Ubuntu (laugh it up) on my work laptop for the last 3ish years, and the vast majority of the time it really is "click install updates. wait 2 minutes. ok every program on your computer is up to date, just don't forget to restart Firefox". Can't think of a time where updating sucked. Sometimes I even go through the terminal just because it makes me feel cool to be a hackerman.
I dread updating my windows pc at home. Cuts into my WoW time too much.
WinGet: Am I a joke to you?
Yes
Winget-ui is great, except Microsoft hasn't figured out to conceptually make two installs of the same product get treated the same -- absolutely pathetic that if you install VLC from their website you can never ever ever use Winget VLC without uninstalling the other.
I don't like windows either, but updating with Winget in terminal works pretty good. Not as good as with Linux, but better than downloading every app via browser.
Tbh, with stuff like Winget and the respective GUI apps the process for installing or upgrading software is pretty much the same nowadays.
i love when i need to search for dll files