If you'll forgive me for ranting for a bit, I just gotta vent.

So for those of you that don't know me, Hi, I'm ComradeOOhAah, I'm the alt of a long time user and the aspiring Lewd VR developer that was enlisted by Xi Jinping personally in order to build a VR Milking Dungeon to brainwash chuds like Jordan Peterson. You can see plenty of posts about that project over in !gamedev@hexbear.net

That project is currently on hold as I was developing it for an adult toy called The Handy and I realized the userbase was rather small and that since I am hoping to turn this into a patreon thing to keep me from starving (where's my Xi Bucks? I don't know! China is collapsing any day now!) I should perhaps look towards a more accessible toy with a wider userbase.

So, for the past few months I've been working on an android media player (specifically the file browser) that will eventually be turned into a standalone VR Media Player that will eventually be turned into an experiment in creating point clouds from stereographic video for VR gloves to interact with and a VR Audio visualizer framework where I can experiment with synesthesia to play with people's arousal. (You probably didn't need all this info but I think I just laid out my definitive roadmap.)

The trick about this media player that I figured would get me some followers is that there are these files called FunScripts that sync rather expensive adults toys with movement on screen of adult videos. I've created a parser for those files and have adapted them to work with a large number of inexpensive vibrating toys sold on aliexpress. Everything is going great so far, took me the summer, but all that is done.

And then all progress came to a screeching halt. Before I release the first beta version I want to create a script that will check for updates. And a script for that will allow me to share news of other projects I'm working on, like the Milking Dungeon and all the other stuff I'm dreaming of creating. Plus I wanna figure out a way to show show Patreon supporters, that sort of stuff.

BUT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW! I have spent weeks spinning my wheels messing around trying to visualize how best to present this information to the user. Do I create a whole new Information control panel where they can see different tabs (Updates, News, Supporters)? Should there be a new button on the side that only shows itself when there's an update available? All this shit going through my head for weeks putting me into a total doom spiral as I watch my bank account shrink and freak out that I'm never gonna release this thing.

And then today, while brushing my teeth, I had a flash of insight. It was perfect!

Are you ready for this gift of epic genius that the gods have bestowed upon me?

Before! (These are sfw)

After!

I'm not mad that it took me this long to realize I could adapt my current UI, but I hate that I can't remember the last time I was able to just create something without the worry of whether or not it was gonna make me money or not. I hate the constant feel of starvation looming overhead. I hate that everything around me is going to shit and I feel powerless to do anything. I hate that none of the leftist orgs around me are taking covid seriously. I hate that everyone around me is full in on the election spectacle. And I hate that I'm spending all this time beating myself up because I can't tell if I'm procrastinating or if I'm percolating. All I wanna do is make sex positive VR content for people to enjoy, not starve, and overthrow the bourgeoisie. I feel like that's a low bar!

Lol, as I was writing this and thinking about how much I wanted Xi to invade and hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay, I heard a bunch of crows cawing outside and I looked out and saw a Bald Eagle being absolutely bodied in midair. There must be about 5 crows going after this one big mfer. They got some really good hits in too! Chased it away from the nearby pond. lmao. Crows together strong.

Anyway, I'm done ranting. If you read this far thank you, I'm just very frustrated with existence and don't have anyone irl I can talk to about this stuff anymore.

that's how it is baby

After spending a couple days interacting with them, I have come to agree with the common sentiment hexbear already had that it's probably not worth trying to persuade a small number of steadfast neoliberals among those of us with limited patience, which includes myself.

If I'm a wimp and you still want to go buck wild, of course.

But the suggestion I got that .ee would probably be a better staging ground is at this point taken to heart. Since we are federated with them, I think the thing to do is make (appropriate, non-hostile) posts in .ee communities where the purpose of the comm adequately fits with topics that it would be useful to discuss.

As with my last post, which was misbegotten, it's just a thought I had

Imagine being in a country where you have access to the most amount of coconut trees, that you can literally pick them for free (if you can climb).

Imagine being in a country where there are street vendors who will sell you a coconut for between 30 to 40 Indian rupees - you know, relatively cheap.

And you buy this shit for 200 rupees:

...all because your elitist ass from SoBo can't handle to buy "dirty, street stuff".

200 OK? What if it's better than OK?

not good for business if both the appearance and function of your products are giving people Lovecraftian breakdowns but you have to do infinite growth in scope so the only way out is to minimize the visual element

still in the oven though

I am in a situation where, all my friends are often too busy, so I often spend weeks, here in college, without talking to another soul. To make things worse, I am very shy, and I can stutter a lot in voice calls. And thus, I am often too scared to try and message my online friends (I have only about 5, and they are the first friends I ever made in life, and I only befriended them last year), to ask them if they can hang out. I did once, but I need time to work up the courage again to ask for a hang out.

So anyways, what is it that you do, to occupy your time, when you spend most of your days with nobody to talk to? And you yourself are often busy with things in life?

Dear father. It has been a year since my last confession. Since then, I have

• Lied to my boss 300 times
• Disrespected my parents 12 times
• Got into arguments with my wife 56 times
• Masturbated 4,530 times
• Murdered trillions of children 4,530 times
• Called God’s name in vain 5,900 times
• Became nihilistic 40 times
• Participated in 95 gooning sessions
• Stolen from work 500 times
• Imagined my wife being naked 600 times

And I ask for forgiveness for any sins that I’ve forgotten to mention today.

In my house the only proper conversation topics were local sports and current TV shows. My dad waxing that our team not doing well could take up half a dinner. Sitcoms would take up the other half. My brother could quote the Office for, I'm not exaggerating, 30 minutes or more.

As little kids, we were put down for using potty humour in the strongest possible terms, which I guess is sorta fine but I don't think the intensity was needed. My brother and I got told to stop convo as adults were talking about Big Things. As a got older and started to care about social justice issues, I was told that I'm being too political. My brother in law complaining that his workers had no drive was always acceptable.

I half get it. My parents were prole, albeit settler white prole, and TV was their mental health support. I do wish my parents did therapy, we were expected to do it at an early age (I started at 9!), and a lot of it was just dealing with an imperfect home environment.

Anyhow, I stopped going to family holidays really early, like from 19 onwards. For a long time I thought I was a dick for not getting involved.

Sorry to rant. Honestly I'm not upset now, I'm just wondering if anyone has a similar story.

There are a bunch of sicko neoliberals and insufferable redditors there, yes, but there are also some normal libs and a few comrades, and it seems like a good way to encourage lemmy generally to re-embrace leftism.

I've been using an alt to talk on there and it's honestly not that bad. It's a little bad, but not that bad. I think if we just try to patiently explain ourselves, we have a reasonable chance of reaching people and shifting the general political alignment.

Those of us who aren't up to dealing with ghouls (I am frequently included in this group) can just stay at home here and that's just fine.

Anyway, just an idea. I would appreciate feedback.

Hey, I’m quite new here learning stuff, having fun and mostly not understanding a whole lot, although I only had nice interactions around here

Please share resources you think would be nice for me to learn about. Also feel free to ask my opinion about various subjects and teach me if you think I’m wrong/ignorant. I reserve the right to ignore some stuff as I suffer from anxiety and sometime getting out there is hard.

I might also be willing to discuss via SimpleX

I consider myself a leftist although not that educated.

Spoke to a family member today. Talked about how I'm gonna write a student thesis on Wu Zetian, the only female emperor of China. Was promptly met with "but why not write about women like Margaret Thatcher? So many more references and much more recent!"

Cue me asking why I should study a known European figure rather than somebody more unknown (and more interesting imo) overseas? Family member goes on to tell me how "easy it was for medieval women overseas to gain power, they just had to marry their emperor husband!", and how European history is so much more interesting and tragic and worth analysing because everything is so complex in Europe compared to those "primitive cultures." Family member then jumps to how Europeans have invented EVERYTHING and how everybody else copies us (clothes, music, science) and Europe is the sole inventor of everything apparently. I get up and leave.

Apologies for the rant. Do y'all have any supporting words or advice on how to speak to these individuals? I thought I could post this here because I appreciate y'all's anti-colonialist attitude, but do feel free to remove if it's appropriate.

Like I don't really use any other social media, but sometimes (like this past week) I venture outside of my hexbear bubble and I browse twitter, or reddit, or instagram, or tiktok, and holy shit I just browse those websites for a minute or two and feel worse about myself, worse about the world, it honestly seems like everyone on those sites is completely insufferable and every post is designed in some CIA laboratory to make me irrationally angry. Like look, sometimes we can all get annoyed at each other here, and I am no exception to that, and nowhere is perfect, but wow this place is 1000% better than like the majority of the internet, I honestly don't know how people go through life at this point browsing the regular internet.

i cannot believe how comically apropos and ironic and terrible the entire thing was

ok, get this

first off they came in on a sat night and reserved like half of our fucking tables, like a 30-top so we had to rearrange the entire place for their meetup. they show up huddled outside the restaurant like boy scouts waiting to be lead by their troop leader, but like, 34 year old men (who look EXACTLY like you would expect these fucking dorks to look like; seriously, not even gonna describe them, just picture an effective altruist and yes, thats exactly what they ALL looked like, it was surreal)

ok anyway then they are directed by their troop leader to be seated and that there's a one drink minimum tonight (the leaders have t shirts that say effective altruism on them.....uggghhh), they all proceed to order one drink

literally the rest of the night they do not order a single god damn fucking thing. one of them ordered like 2 sides of fries for the entire group and 2 pizzas for the entire group of 30 people. these pizzas feed 2 people a piece... like, maybe

they proceeded to complain that we arent filling their waters enough. as i refilled their waters, i had to listen to the most insufferable fucking dialogue i have ever heard in my entire adult life. oh my god i was trying so hard not to burst out laughing and/or murder them every time i walked by, like "i was thinking the other day, is it ethical to even exist??? bro, i dont know, sopheclese says" blah blah fucking blah and prenatalism vs promortalism and holy fucking mother of god dude we get it you listen to the sam harris podcast shut up shut up shut the fuck up before i take that pizza tray and beat your ass to death with it oh my god

they then tried to split the check 30 ways, I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP. YOU CANT, I DARE YOU

we were so staffed up (it was a fucking SATURDAY NIGHT) and we made zero fucking money collectively because these fucking pretentious adult children do not understand the most basic fucking etique, norms or standards that pertain to regular fucking civil society, we must have collectively lost $500 in tips for the entire staff because of the people we physically could not seat because of them.

they stayed until an hour after closing and we had to physically start removing their tables to get them to leave. i will never forget this night

the tip was a pittance obviously, even broke college students tip better, anyway, had to share!

puzzling out the proofs for concepts so utterly fundamental to math by myself that it’s like if Genesis 1:3 was And God said, 'Let there be integer,' and there was integer

Why are people arguing sentience and not the fact that this is another attempt to completely remove a sector of the workforce the way Covid was the conduit to remove a complete sector of the outside world? This shit is valued at nearly 200 billion dollars

When Trump brought the cat and dog thing up at the debate, I thought he was cooked and that nobody in the right frame of mind, not even the average chud, would believe it, but the next day people at my work were talking about how true it is and that it needs to be stopped. It's amazing and scary how easily people are quick to believe something without a shred of evidence.

Even my mom texted me a mugshot of a woman who was arrested for killing and trying to eat a cat. But when I replied that it happened in a completely different city and the suspect was a US born citizen with mental issues, she said that the suspect was actually Haitian, it happened in Springfield and the police are pretending it happened somewhere else to make their town look good.

I don't even know how to respond to a take like that. Just a year or so ago she was happy to see Alex Jones getting canceled for threatening families of the kids who died at Sandy Hook. Now she's believing and forwarding Jones-grade conspiracy shit, and she couldn't care less about school shootings anymore. It's depressing as fuck.

so yea ... planning to do that now... but how does it work? what even is meditating? how long to do it? (or be it? and what is it? 🤔) and when they say needs to be daily do they like literally mean daily?

also anyone got the full episode of this one? 🥺 (love the guy, but cannot afford patreon right now)

thanks, love you all 🥰

new hexbear here. i've never listened to chapo podcast and am unfamiliar with the culture of this site. what tips can you give me about this site? And what the hell is PPB?

also since this is the chat comm, ummm how are you doing today?

Also maybe something about contradictions

has anyone ever had some complex syrup in their drink? how was it?

Last week I saw an odd thing on Indeed where I was apparently "already qualified for an interview" for a job posting at a local hospital that I've been trying to get in to for years for IT. I didn't have to apply but just set up an interview time. Well turns out it's actually a "hiring event" which I was informed after a recruiter called and was like "Are you sure you wanted to apply for this? You aren't even A+ certified anymore." You know because you forget how computers work if you let your cert expire even though you've been working with computers for the last 20+ goddamn years and at an IT level for the last 6 but sure.

She asked me if I was willing to re-cert and I said yes but whatever. My Google IT cert which is the same thing isn't worth shit I guess so that's a scam. Thanks Googs...

In any case, if you had half a day to crash study for a stupid fucking IT interview that was the equivalent of a 10 min speed date, what would you brush up on?

I ask because like you literally just google what you don't know. Everyone in the industry knows this, but you can't fucking say that at an interview. Just like when they say "can you tell me about you employment gaps?" you can't say "well you see I was fired from jobs because I am autistic." I already and prepped to lie and say I've been doing freelance IT and web dev in my spare time and that also covers those gaps.

Edit: done with interview. They closed the position on Monday because a guy that quit asked for his job back. I'm going to go kill myself now.

I just passed on a tech job offer. It's not a bad job and I would have been good at it, too, but its just not what I want to do.

will I regret this after my other applications fall through? Yeah. I would also regret it if I had to work 40 hours a week doing that job.

I know lots of people working jobs they hate, so what am I doing turning a good one down, right?

Man. I don't know. i followed my instinct on that one. My instinct is fallible as fuck

Use R you fucking monkeys