Comradeship // Freechat

My partner has been onboard the K-pop train for several years. As much as they enjoy their groups, we've discussed several aspects that are connected to the global American capitalist hegemony. Keep in mind that these are two people's experiences rather than a scientific consensus.

The List

1. As K-pop has become more mainstream, songs have begun to incorporate more and more non-Korean lyrics, particularly English.

   The K-pop industry is large enough such that it attracts international artists, almost all of whom appear Eastern/SE Asian. Exo from the 2010's is one group who had eight South Korean and eight Chinese members, and they released songs in Korean, Mandarin, and Japanese. (Exo slowly lost its Chinese members due to mistreatment, but that's a different story).

   Nevertheless, Exo is more of the exception. Many groups sing exclusively in Korean and English. And whereas in the past, Korean would be the predominant lyrics with a sprinkle of English, many newer songs are the exact opposite with Korean as the minority.[^1] Perhaps this is the price paid for going global.

2. Girl groups in k-pop face very different treatment from boy groups.

   My impression of the industry is that "typical" K-pop idols start training young, break out as part of a boy/girl group, and finally dive into a solo careers as singers, actors, etc. Not everyone makes it past each step, and some idols come from other media industries.

   Girl groups deal with additional complications. Several girl groups have debuted with minors amongst their members[^2], and they have been getting progressively younger. When you consider that idols train can train for several years, this means a 16-year old member probably starting training at 13-14 years old.

   In addition, girl groups are generally shorter lived than boy groups. A large part of the blame goes to the record labels. A new girl group may debut with a label, and they'll get all the attention, publicity, and studio backing they could ask for. A couple years later, a new girl group will debut with the same label, and the previous one will be neglected. I've been told that girl groups live and die by what is trendy in the moment, and this constant churn is one way to chase it.

   Generally speaking, boy groups do not face those same pressures.

3. Sexualization of idols

   Sexualization of K-pop idols exists. It's a thing. It exists among both girl groups and boy groups, but in different ways. Girl groups face the more well known sexualization we see in our society. Boy groups face aggressive homoerotic 'shipping' among their fans.

   In fact, the industry plays into it. One of the common stipulations in an idol's contract is that they will neither date nor enter romantic relationships for a period of time. This can range from a few years to the length of their contract. The implication being that the idols are single and available for you, the consumer. Coupled with the number of underage idols and prevalence of Asian fetishization in the West, this sexualization is particularly gross.

Conclusion

Next time someone speaks about the cultural exports of K-pop, you can ask "but at what cost??" and mention the above.

[^1]: For example, As If It's Your Last by Blackpink in 2017 vs. Shutdown in 2022

[^2]: For example, Ive debuted in 2021, which means Wonyoung and Liz were 17, and Leeseo was 15. Similarly, NewJeans debuted in 2022. Their youngest member, Hyein, was 14.#

I am making a mutual aid post but it can be hard to get a response there.

I was hoping I wouldn't have to ask for help via paypal again due to the DWP, but I don't see any alternative. My landlady drives me to local medical appointments as I can't drive (I'm partially sighted) and can't walk far (repeated foot surgeries and mobility issues caused by a stroke.) I have many regular medical appointments, endocrinologist, neurologist, stroke clinic, physiotherapist, ophthalmologist and podiatrist being the main ones. So the car is a lifeline we can't manage without. We also use it for collecting prescriptions, food shopping and whatever else we need.

The car is having problems again, it started stalling, being difficult to start and accelerating weirdly. we had to call the emergency mechanics out today and it needs a new ignition coil. They've quoted £170. We don't have the money to pay for this (I'm going through a disability benefit appeal and owe backrent, so my landlady is managing just off her pension and is in debt with a maxxed out credit card). My landlady doesn't feel safe driving it at all until it's fixed, so it's quite urgent and I don't have anyone else to ask. We are also regularly struggling to pay for petrol. If anyone can help with these things my paypal is the_mighty_tabs@hotmail.co.uk

If you can, please write in the message box that it's a gift so I can prove to the DWP (British benefit nazis) that I am not earning money.

I can't stress enough how vital this is. I can't walk more than a few minutes, we can't pay for taxis. The nearest bus stop is half a mile away. Even hospital transport costs money. Someone helped me pay for the transport to my foot surgery but with all these other appointments to get to as well we need to either fix this car or pay a load of money for hospital transport to all the other appointments. Cheaper in the long run to just fix the car.

I am really grateful for any help.

I am a former member of the now defunct project Red Spectre (which is where I met Saul).

Saul and I have been online friends for most of the last ~9months or so. He's a nice enough kid, but ofc has his flaws. Personally I find him to be a well read person and I am convinced that the majority of his time is spent studying theory or editing Revolupedia articles.

Saul is young. Only 18, and last I knew was still going to school. He also (in the last few months) was diagnosed with Schizophrenia, which is why I am making this post. Saul often comes to me in my discord dms and is terrified that you all are plotting against him. I do not think any of you are, and I tell him that, but he is rather paranoid about it. I've told him repeatedly that he should ignore it, y'all are just making stupid memes and jokes, but he will not listen. When I first met Saul he didn't seem to have any issues with delusions but then one day he just...did. He's been in and out of the psychward, trying new medications, but he's really really been struggling.

As I understand, he did considerable damage to the prolewiki and leftypedia projects, I am sorry on his behalf. Even if he wouldn't agree with me, I don't think it was good what he did, and I know that you all are just as passionate to see change in the world as he is. I know for a fact he would be devastated if someone wrecked his revolupedia project in the same manner that he wrecked prolewiki.

I'm far from some big shot communist or anything, I'm just a 25 year old that's read a bit of this or that, and tabled a couple times for various parties. Still, I come here asking if people could just avoid talking about him? I can't exactly expect the entirety of this community to never mention him, but I also can't control Sauls internet usage. I just feel bad for him and I don't know what else to do.

There's a thread on reddit right now where, as usual, people are claiming that it's too easy to get disability benefits, all you have to do is say "I'm sad, I'm depressed," and you are instantly given benefits. Which is the complete opposite of reality. Someone wrote a response about how difficult it actually is to claim disability in the UK, and I think this response is brilliant and really shows just how hard it is. The response focuses specifically on mental health claims, but applying for physical health is every bit as difficult as this too:

Hi, Welfare Rights Adviser for over 10 years here, probably over a 1000 first tier tribunal appeals under my belt at this point, dozens of upper tier tribunal appeals also. I help clients with every aspect of a claim from start to finish.

Your second point could not be more wrong, and gets parroted on here like it's gospel by people who don't have a single clue about any of this.

You absolutely cannot just turn up and say "I have depression, give me money please ooh I'm so sad"... The way everyone talks on here makes it sound like the DWP response to that is, "well we can't just accuse someone of lying, they must be telling the truth, we have no choice but to give them infinite money and a car"

Someone with a mental illness wouldn't just have to fake it to a DWP assessor, they would have to fake it to multiple healthcare professionals throughout many years.

DWP can, and do, very frequently reject reported restrictions claimants have because there's no evidence. Often unreasonably so.

If you have no diagnosis they'll say go away you have no diagnosis

If you have a diagnosis they'll say go away you're only on a first line medication and not under a specialist

If you are under a specialist they'll say go away you have no history of self harm or suicide attempts

If you do have a history of self harm and suicide attempts they'll say go away that was 5 months ago you're fine now

If you tried to commit suicide yesterday they'll say, actually you managed to finish high school twenty years ago, that must have taken a lot of drive and motivation go away.

Last month I had a case up for a hearing where the appellant suffered from severe depression, and had been in receipt of PIP for 8+ years, with 4 reviews in that time. This time he was given 0 points despite having been sectioned twice since the last review as he was a danger to himself .

While waiting for a hearing he hanged himself from his bedroom door using the cord from his dressing gown.

I informed the DWP of this, expecting them to lapse the appeal, give him his old award back, and give his grieving family some money for a funeral with the backdated payment.

They refused.

Three months later we have the hearing, appellant is represented by his mum and dad who are in floods of tears the moment they walk in.

The hearing lasts 1 minute, in which the judge simply apologises to the family, and launches into an absolute tirade against the DWP (who wisely chose not to send anyone to this particular hearing) for ever stopping his benefits in the first place.

This is the reality, this is the system people on here are advocating should be made crueler to those with mental illness

I grew up in a conservative American family and was indoctrinated with chauvinistic beliefs from the beginning. It took me years of studying political science and economics just to warm up to leftist ideas, let alone embrace them.

Finally, I decided to read “Dialectical and Historical Materialism” by Stalin off a recommendation from one of my professors and it really changed my entire interpretation of the world. That started me down a path of reading any Marxist literature I could find.

I’m curious about the path that the rest of you took to get here!

Feeling pretty terrible today in regards to the symptoms + others. Debating whether to call dr and ask for an appointment just to show them "yep this is how bad it is today". I can't even get up from the chair without getting nauseous, in fact even sitting it still flares up.

For those who have experience with that, should I start calling my drs office every time I feel worse than usual just so there's a paper trace of me going to the drs and complaining about symptoms?

For reference I've been seeing my dr for this problem for a year now + specialists, so there is a trace of me seeking treatment, but not necessarily of showing symptoms.

Only issue is it's friday evening and they close in like 20 minutes lol

I just saw this story on reddit:

**A friend of mine had limited vision when he took a new role as production manager for an edible oils company. They even hired a "guide", to make sure he could get around the site safely.

His vision totally failed totally half way through his probation period...

The company medically retired him at full salary, for life...he was in his late 40's at the time.**

I was amazed to read about such a good employer, as my experience was starkly different. I'd worked for 16 years before going on disability benefits, most of that time as a carer for the elderly, but for the last 18 months I'd been working in a gym as I had fancied a change. I'd qualified as a fitness instructor, and during those 18 months had been promoted to personal trainer (meaning I got my own 1 on 1 clients), the boss had spoken to me about paying for me to get further qualifications, I got on well with my colleagues and never had any complaints about my work.

But I started cancer treatment. I carried on working at first, although I was tired and less chatty than usual. I also cut my working days from 5 down to 4. And began to need time off for hospital appointments. My boss started picking on me, constantly trying to find fault with everything I did. I wasn't being extroverted enough any more was the main complaint.

A man I had never seen before started hanging around the gym, watching me. One day my boss called me into the office and the man was there. My boss fired me. He told me this man who'd been hanging around had been undercover watching me and I wasn't outgoing or friendly enough any more, I wasn't being proactive any more, and I was fired. I asked, "Not being proactive in what way?" The boss couldn't give any concrete examples. He couldn't even give any real examples of me not being extroverted enough. He said people weren't happy with my work but couldn't give any examples of that either. And he'd seemed very happy and never had a complaint in all those 18 months.

It was absolutely clear to me that he no longer wanted to employ me because I was now ill, needed time off for hospital appointments and he was worried my condition would deteriorate further. In the UK you need to work in a place for 2 years before you get full employment rights, and he wanted to get rid of me before then. If he'd kept me on for 2 years and then I got even sicker and could work less and he fired me, I could claim unfair dismissal. So he was desperate to get rid of me before then.

And if I'd been there for 2 years before becoming ill, he'd have been obliged to make reasonable attempts to modify my work to enable me to keep working. And if he wanted to fire me he'd have to follow a fair dismissal procedure. By getting rid of me as soon as I became ill before 2 years had passed, he could just get rid of me, easily. However he got this man to watch me and say I wasn't doing a good job as a precaution anyway, so he'd have someone backing him up if I tried to fight it.

I was so upset by the unfairness I actually burst into tears and just left. I didn't fight it, I already had a cancer fight on my hands, I couldn't take on an employment fight too.

This is the reality of being ill or disabled, employers don't want you. You need time off and can't do everything a well, able bodied person can do. This is why it makes me so angry when people talk about cutting disability benefits, or making them harder to get and saying of the disabled "There must be some work they can do!" What work, where, and is there enough of this work to provide full time employment for millions of disabled people? No, of course not. Nobody wants to pay our benefits but they don't want to employ us either. They always want us to be someone else's problem. And if we end up homeless, they'll put spikes on benches and in doorways so we can't sleep there. Out of sight, out of mind.

Employers like the one in the reddit post are few and far between. There is so much talk in the UK about how the welfare state can't be sustained but what do they think is going to happen? I am truly worried we will see a return to workhouses and Dickensian slums. Children are already being starved at school: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c0k7dv1mnpvo

How long before they are sent down the mines again? Even the Nazis were kinder, I'd rather be gassed to death than impoverished to death. It's already hard enough to get and keep disability benefits in the UK, as anyone who has been following my posts knows. But it's difficult to stay in employment as a disabled person too when an employer will do anything to be rid of you at the first sign of illness. Just what are we supposed to do?

If we commit suicide then we're a bad person who didn't try hard enough. If we die of starvation (like Mark Woods and Errol Graham) then we're lazy - we just didn't try hard enough to access all the amazing help out there. And of course we can't have assisted suicide to put us out of our misery because they care about us too much to kill us quickly. Once you're disabled, nothing you do is ever right.

Hey comrades!

My first time formatting text like this, sorry if I messed up!

I need help teaching kids at my new job, teaching at a primary school!

A primary school has hired me as a teacher! Small school in a village that has below 10 kids in each classes. They are struggling to find teachers to teach there (small village, mostly romani kids, challenging environment, etc.), and so they were happy to hire me even though I don't have my degree yet. I am starting roughly a month from now and I got hired to teach history, ethics, social studies, romani people's culture and something I can't really translate, but a dedicated class that is teaching kids about our country's and people's history (kinda right wing). I'd be teaching kids all the way from grade 3 to grade 8, their final one in primary school, pleas keep it in mind!

• Anti-communist material.

1. The material is clearly and blatantly anti-communist. How do I go about this? Do you think giving context to whatever the books claim is enough? Do you think by trying to provide extra information or saying that other people think about this differently is a good way to not only stay true to myself but be able to make them question things? How would you personally feel about being expected to "teach" these false claims to kids and having to witness the state manipulating history? I am aware this is not your problem, I am just curious. What tools do I have to make them be aware of this type of indoctrination? Do you think it would be risking the job if I'd say at certain claims, that the book is wrong on this? How do I overall navigate this, paying special attention to the fact that they are just kids? :::
   spoiler

• "KIP" (Complex Instruction Program).

2. Some christian school in the United Snakes made up a teaching method, which one of my Professor at Uni took and adopted to the hungarian schools. KIP is hated by all teachers I know for various reasons and apparently teachers have mostly stopped doing it in 2018. Nonetheless this is my first time being able to apply it if I want to. The university I am studying at thinks of this as the solution to all problems, which is idealist to say the least. Have any of y'all heard about this? It was made by these people: Article about the program itself and other sources to the papers I could find - 1; 2; 3

Do you have an opinion on this as well as, can you recommend me anything you think could help me teaching these young kids alternative to this (resources, teaching methods, etc)? The reason why I am asking this, because in the mighty EU, the best economic system possible and glorious western democracy, we still have many tens (if not hundreds) of thousands of kids growing up in absolute poverty (just in my country), meaning no food and clothing security. These kids' families are struggling to feed themselves, can not or only hardly find jobs (if they do it's a construction site job or the minimal wage jobs the local councils can offer them), and they do not have the ability to clothe themselves at all at times, not to mention not having clothes that fit the changing seasons (meaning wearing T-shirts and shorts in december, it's not unusual not being able to wash the clothes either, they can wear a fit for a month straight or with little variation until they can afford the cheapest replacements next month). As well as hygene is a problem. Now, I don't know what we all think about the Maslow pyramid, I guess it has been concluded as outdated by now many times, but I kinda get the part where: when we don't know what we can have for dinner tomorrow or we run out of money on the first day of getting it to hand, then we can kinda don't give a flying fuck about studying this or that. So, all in all, I'd be looking for ways to teach them something in this harsh environment they are facing. Sadly, in the parliament, on paper, these people just simply don't exist. Capitalism hides them and doesn't acknowledge them/hushes them away. These kids are dubbed as "dumb" and "lazy", while obviously the white kids are superior to them in all aspects, "hard working" and "smart". Essentially it's just plain racism of the whites against romanis. They are blamed for everyting. Everything is their fault, whether in the present or later on in life (while the white kids performance is the fault of the teachers, just to put it in context). Now, I despise saviour complex, so please be realistic. I am just mainly asking because I don't think frontal work is what they need (or it's the type of teaching method that can work), it's more so giving them love, care, and helping them out acquiring skills that they can use in their lives or later in school (which is not the likely scenario - only very small percentages go to high-schools). What I mostly had in mind is just to be human, empathetic, talk a lot with them and guide them to the best of my ability, sadly nobody is expecting anything of them, they are written off as useless and non-human by society and I am afraid, 35 years after we lost socialism, this looks to be an ever increasing trend, towards our minorities (mostly romani).

Overall, I just have noone to turn to with my worries. Some of it are real, some just might be inexperience or lack of confidence yet. If you have any opinions, criticizing or otherwise, please do share, anything to bounce off of helps. Suggestions to make the classes I am going to teach good and enjoyable, or things you think definitely should be taught (for example in the romani class, or other) are welcome as well. You can also tell me what you'd have liked when you were their age and what kinda teacher you'd have enjoyed to be around? I am me, I can't and don't want to change that, but if you have something in mind, stories, anything, share!

Thank you for reading it!

https://tankie.tube/c/boyboy_patreon/videos

I posted on Reddit recently about my disability and someone offered advice about what I could look at to manage it. It didn't offend me, it was really just a list, but I saw that their comment was deleted later. I think the subreddit has a rule not to offer advice unless specifically requested.

So look. It's natural to want to offer advice to disabled people or people in general because we want to help them and make their lives easier (most of the time lol)

The problem is, you can't know beforehand how it will come across. They might not appreciate it and either put up appearances or tell you off, you might convey it in a way you didn't intend and cause friction... you just can't know. Too many variables.

In the case of that reddit comment it was just kinda random advice like looking at vagus nerve therapy (I don't even know how I would begin to look for this lol), and also if you don't know where my problem stems from and where I'm at in terms of treatment, your advice is basically worth nothing. sorry but it's true. If you don't have all the facts, anything that you say will be nonsense to quote my main man (this is not true my main man is marx and his wit).

So instead of offering advice on managing symptoms, here are some questions you can ask to give your disabled acquaintance agency, and show that you trust them to care for themselves without butting into their business.

• "What helps you manage symptoms or episodes?"
• "Is there some therapy you're thinking of exploring but haven't tried yet?"
• "What usually happens at your doctor's appointments?"
• "Are some days better than others, in terms of symptoms?" (they will probably say yes, but it opens up conversation).
• "What are you looking forward to?" (Could be a double-edged sword)

These are just "small talk" questions that fit most situations.

If all words fail you, there's always a simple failsafe, my case worker is great for this. She knows she can't cure me, because that's not her job, not her expertise, not her responsibility. So when I explain my symptoms (mostly so she won't try to put me to work lol), she just agrees and says "yeah, that sucks" in more professional terms of course. It communicates that she understands her limitations, but that she still listens and understands what I'm saying. It's not invalidating, in fact it's actually validating because it's as non-judgmental as you can get.

So...

I've watched, over the past few months, dozens of YouTube videos a day it seems so that may have something to do with my "YouTube burnout" (if it is one) but it seems as though YouTube videos especially teach you nothing, certainly not compared to written content or articles or even books. I have the videos on in the background when I'm doing something. I have tried to put more focus to actually, well, consuming the content or media in a way that's more mindful and where I am edified. Maybe I'm trying too hard, but a lot of what I'm watching seems a bit superfluous or whatever.

All art or content or products have this problem, to a point, I think, but at times, it seems that videos are either there to sell me something (bad, at least in my case, because I like retail therapy) or maybe "hook me" into something (not necessarily bad, perhaps, as it can be pretty innocuous and even fun, depending on what they're motivating you to get into, such as a hobby).

And I have to say:

I'm starting to see this in documentaries to, to a point.

I feel like visual media has this problem a lot.

And yeah, I know it's a "D'oh!" moment for me because, honestly, of course they're a bit sparse on details or info compared to, say, books and written text.

But...

I feel like I'm not getting stuff out of it? Like, I ask: "What are they hiding? What are they not showing?"

Am I just paranoid? It's one thing to contemplate this sometimes, but every time I watch a video now?

Maybe I am just burnt out on YouTube LMAO!!

(I will say that one thing I miss are videos that are 2 to 5 to 10 to maybe 20 or 30 minutes long instead of these LONG videos that seem, erm, "useless," from my point of view.)

Just got back from my latest surgery, it went fine. The staff were nice, ones I hadn't seen before. Although I got the dreaded question, "So what do you do?" And had to say "Nothing at the moment," and then justify it by explaining all my health issues, but these were some of the rare people who accepted I couldn't be expected to work in my condition instead of being judgmental about it. Although they did do the whole "You'll get better soon," thing, and imply that I can get back to work eventually. Why is our society like this? No matter how insurmountable your health issues society can never just accept that you're on the scrapheap, work-wise. There always has to be some undercurrent of "You should be working." Hence why even people with degenerative conditions get re-assessed for disability benefits again and again instead of being left in peace.

And don't even get me started on "So what do you do" being the standard conversation opener for everyone, everywhere, always. Always immediately judging and classifying someone by their job. Are we really so unimaginative that we can't think of another way to start a conversation with a stranger? How about "So what music do you like? Been anywhere nice lately? What's your favourite film?" I mean, literally anything that is about an individual's personal interests rather than how productive they are to capitalism and where they fit on the job-based social respect scale.

I tried to post on c/srs but just got an error. Did this comm get deleted?

I haven't really used reddit for a few years and now made an account again, but over 50% of my commens get removed by mods even though they aren't something extreme, they just were about random stuff about instruments and some other non-important stuff, also on worldnews. I try to make posts but they also get auto-removed randomly without any explanation while some don't. Also I got instabanned on the h3h3 subreddit for idek what reason. Reddit doesn't even tell or show you anymore when your comment gets deleted on your profile when you are logged in. I don't want to sound like some right wing conspiracy theorists that spews hate speech and then complains about all their comments being deleted, I never posted any such type of comments. Is this just me or is this reddit in general? I deleted my account there again, very weird platform. I remember it was already kind of bad when I left reddit a few years back, but now it seems it got even worse

It has been several months since I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and I can only say: it is horrible. I would not wish it on anyone with even a small amount of good in them.

I just got out of an psychotic episode in which I accused my best friend of plotting against me because she knew of a communist party I was going to form and that I was blessed by the gods to do their work on Earth. I keep hearing voices and the only way I can accept them is to think of them as gods. These ideas may sound insane, and they are, but it's impossible to get rid of them. I keep making connections which aren't there and subconsciously form my own reality out of nothing.

I wish I could be normal. I wish I did not hear voices. I wish I did not see things which were not there. I wish I could separate fantasy from reality.

I want an avi with a trans flag or symbol in the background.

I can always use Canva, I suppose, but what should my avi be, dammit? I want Kirby but Kirby's a boy, I think.

I want a girl avatar.

Someone came through and helped me recently, which I am really grateful for. After buying shower boots to use after my surgery, multiple packs of bandages, and paying for hospital transport for my next three surgeries, it's all used up.

My surgical wounds are infected again and I also have another three surgeries coming up (next one this Tuesday coming) so this will be a recurring issue for a while. I need some iodine patches, ointment and powder to treat this. I will gladly accept help in whatever form - either someone ordering them and sending them to me (the patches are available on amazon and the other items on ebay) or sending help to my paypal account so I can buy them. I can't buy anything for myself because of my disability payments having been stopped while I go through appeal.

The patches are £7 a box on amazon right now, the powder is £9.90 on ebay and the ointment is £19.90. The wounds have gotten infected after every surgery and with three more coming up, it's very likely to happen again so I may need multiple of each item.

If anyone is able to order the items and send them to me please PM me.

This was my fourth of these surgeries and it's gotten infected every time. The first time I got antibiotics, which involves sitting in A&E all day long waiting to be seen, and then dealing with the side effects of the antiobiotics. The second surgery it got infected again and I amazingly managed to get a nurse appointment at the GP, they put iodine on it and it worked perfectly. But I had to pay for the iodine patches they used (with help from someone here), it's not even covered by my medical exemption certificate. (Because GP surgeries are independent contractors). So when it got infected again the next time I just asked someone to send me the iodine. They did, I used it and it worked. No sitting in a&e all day, no side effects and no having to pay for whatever the nurse used.

These surgeries are to debride and clean infected ulcers caused by my cancer treatment. The actual surgeries are free on the NHS but the patient has to pay for their own bandages, transport and whatever else they may end up needing like antiseptic.

It's very hard to grasp what it's like to live with a disability until you've experienced it yourself. I think it's not something people just think about, and it's also just not easy to imagine even when you try to.

So here's what it's like. You live life day-to-day. You wake up in the morning knowing that you're gonna have difficulties getting through the day - depending on your disability, you might be thinking "is today gonna be a good day, or a bad day?" (that's the good one) or you might think "here we go again".

You start to plan your appointments ahead so they don't all fall on the same day, or even in the same week. Doing more than one big thing a day? Impossible. You can't go to the doctor, get groceries, and then head to your friends house. You do one thing a day tops, so you have to plan your entire week ahead accordingly. No more spur of the moment things like a friend calling you at 5PM asking if you want to grab drinks at their place, because you already did something else today and you don't have it in you to do anything else.

When the appointment comes you have some hope that you'll be able to get through it fine, but you're not optimistic. You'd rather not go because it's torturous, but the pros outweigh the cons so you still go. What used to take 10-15 minutes to do now takes 45, and you're tortured the entire time.

There are many things you need to do, like say renewing your driver's license, getting your teeth checked, getting new clothes, but you don't get around to it because you know it's gonna be torture and so you put it off for as long as you can, sometimes forever. (thankfully we have online shopping, even if it doesn't solve everything).

In my case because of my disability the kind of stuff I have to pick is if I'm going to brush my teeth, wash my hair or shave my beard. You can only do one, so plan accordingly. That's the kind of decisions I have to make daily. I'm going to brush my teeth tonight and wash my hair tomorrow, I think. But not both at once, that's impossible.

People ask you about moving out, finding a girlfriend, getting a job... you have to stop them. They don't understand because this is so alien to them. My life is focused on getting through the day, one day at a time. Currently, this is slightly more manageable -- I'm "lucky" that my disability seems to have some triggers, so I can usually stay at home without too many issues (so long as I mostly do no physical effort). Getting a job or moving out is so far out of my mind that I don't even think about it. There's no point thinking about it, because there's no answer for it. I would just be torturing myself over what my life used to be like.

To be clear I don't mind my friends talking about their lives. I'm happy to hear and talk to them about it. But there is no point in asking me about what I want to do in life when my day-to-day is thinking stuff like can I cook lunch without puking? Can I water my plants without puking? Oh, I'm expecting a delivery tonight and I know putting away groceries is one of my triggers (for some reason), so I probably should take it easy today until then, so I can put the fucking groceries away like an adult.

And then on top of that people will judge you and downplay your disability. "Just get over it", "just live with it" or "just push through and do it". I do live with it, I don't have any choice but to live with it. What takes you 10 minutes takes me 30, every time and for everything. Your commute to work sucks? Mine would suck just the same, except it would take me twice as long and the entire time it's also taking all I have in me to not throw up on the side of the road. It's dangerous to drive for too long because if I get into an episode while driving (which happens a lot) I stop paying as much attention to the road. I try not to drive during rush hour.

And the worst part is that it's not visible. People see you and assume everything is fine, so they talk to you normally while you're standing here not listening, thinking about nothing but not throwing up. They give you appointments during rush hour. They ask you to come in for an appointment that will last 5 minutes, but takes you 45 to get ready to. They see you stop walking and breathe deeply and wonder wtf is wrong with you. They talk to you like they talk to anyone else, because there's nothing about you that screams "I am this close to throwing up right now if you don't stop". And so they don't believe you have a real problem, because they don't see it. If they know you have it, they forget over time and assume you just got better. They don't check up on you, because they've seen you at times when you were doing better and assume you're cured now.

Everyone always comes with their advice, hoping there is some sudden cure that exists, because science has all the answers in the modern day. but nobody ever asks you how you cope, what they can do to avoid triggering you, or what it's like for you. They might concede you have a disability, but it's not a real disability. It doesn't count. The threshold for what counts is so high, nobody would ever be disabled if they applied this standard to everyone.

Communists are generally better about this.

For example Azeris, Turkmens, Tajiks transitioning from the Arabic script, and Buryats from the Mongol script.

And why wasn't there a cyrillisation of Georgian and Armenian?

To me the script changes seemed unnecessary, but I'm curious what you think

I'm a thyroid cancer patient, amongst other health issues. I've been having endless problems with the dosage of my meds and all the side effects, it's ruined my life. However I have to fight tooth and nail for any medical help. Every time my blood tests suggest my levels are stable, the endocrinologist immediately discharges me, regardless of my symptoms. When the symptoms become unbearable again I have to go through a whole rigmarole to get an appointment again, often waiting up to a year on the waiting list.

Now my GP surgery makes it almost impossible to get a GP appointment too. You're supposed to request an appointment via their new app, but you need to be a tech wizard to work out how to use it. They don't take phone calls for booking appointments any more. The only thing to do then is turn up at 8.30am when they open and get in the queue of weary desperate souls and hope there is still an appointment left by the time you reach the front of the queue. 9 times out of 10, there are none left. You just get turned away without help. If there are any appointments the receptionist can't even book one. You get put on a triage list and a doctor will contact you later and decide whether you need an appointment.

On Friday I woke up to find a very noticeable bald patch at the front of my head. Another one appeared a few days later. My hair is literally falling out in clumps. You don't get chemo for thyroid cancer (the treatment for this is arguably even worse) so that is not why my hair is falling out. I don't know why it is, but it can't be a good sign.

I had to phone the endocrinologist's office multiple times and speak to multiple people over several days before they finally agreed to book me in for an appointment. It's a month away but the NHS is such a shambles I feel lucky to get one so soon. I also spent days trying to get a GP appointment and after all the queueing and begging and waiting on the triage list, finally I got one. It was useless.

The doctor was some random locum (all the usual GPs have retired and they never get full time staff now, just different locums each day) who didn't care a bit and was clearly just there for money. I asked for blood tests to determine the cause of hair loss - after all it could be something serious and better caught early. He said "We don't know what causes hair loss and there are no blood tests for it." Then sent me away with a steroid shampoo and nothing else.

I got home and googled it and there are blood tests for it, many as it could be caused by thyroid issues, autoimmune, adrenals, deficiencies and many other things. I wanted these tests but I knew they would never agree. So I had to employ subterfuge to get medical help. I told the receptionist that I had an endo appointment and the endo had requested these tests. So they did them. Don't have the results yet.

It's so exhausting having to fight for every little bit of medical help, especially when I am unwell. And it's getting more and more difficult all the time. A recent news report said just 12% of GP appointments are now face to face - the rest of the time it's by phone. And that's for the things the GP will actually deal with. They no longer deal with muscular-skeletal issues, they tell you to refer yourself to the physiotherapist for that (and spend 4 months on the waiting list). They won't see you for infections - you have to go to the pharmacy and the pharmacist will prescribe antibiotics. And many other things. It's like they are gradually closing down healthcare altogether.

The British politician, Rachel Reeves, has tried to do everything she can to mass-murder the disabled. She's tried really hard to cut and eliminate disability payments for as many of the most vulnerable in society as possible. She has tried to freeze the elderly by taking away their winter fuel allowance and she has tried to put a limit on how much social care people are allowed to receive in their lifetimes. She has to cut down the government's spending, and she is doing her best to direct all the cuts at the elderly, sick and disabled, although other MPs have fought back against her and put the brakes on at least some of her plans. All this while MPs just awarded themselves a payrise that amounts to millions each year.

Yesterday Rachel Reeves was seen crying in the House of Commons. Suddenly people are pouring out sympathy for her and scolding those who aren't sympathetic. I'm sorry, this woman has just tried to murder thousands of elderly, sick and disabled people through impoverishing them and we're supposed to feel sorry for her because she cried?

This country is insane and evil.

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/8395651

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/8395650

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/8395649

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/8395648

cross-posted from: https://lemmygrad.ml/post/8395647

I don't particularly care about the cost or the hoops I have to jump through, I primarily want the best and most effective VPN's.

I'm also a heavy gamer, so the ones that are most excellent and allow for the least minimal delay when playing online multiplayer/live-service games, would be what I'm looking for.

And while this last one is optional, I would prefer if the recommend VPN's are also usable in the U.S., so I could set them up before I move to Chengdu.

I'm aware I could likely change VPN's, but that could be a headache or a hassle, so I'd rather stick with one. Unless I would have to compromise on quality/ VPN effectiveness.

Also, the more cost efficient for the value, the better. But I primarily care about quality rather than cost effectiveness.

I'm just going to list about a dozen works here, if you've read any of them I just wanna know some of your (Spoilers free) thoughts on them. You don't have to write a full review, even just a thumbs up or thumbs down is good. However I'm not just asking to have someone decide for me, I just want to be more informed before i delve into things, from more...ideologically coherent people. And obviously you don't have to say anything about the ones you haven't seen/read.

The list:

Road to Reality-Roger Penrose

Elements-Euclid

Bertrand Russel in general (honestly can't quite get a read on the guy to tell if going to get anything from him)

Peacock cries- Hong Ying

The Bathing woman-Tie Ning

Eileen Chang in general (I saw some of her books at a library and thought they looked interesting, wouldn't mind knowing where to start)

Water Margin- Shi Nai'an

Journey to the west- Wu Cheng'en

The Plum in the Golden Vase-Lanling Xiaoxiao Sheng

Arsenal military academy (the TV show. Idk if there's something else by the same name)

A sacred and terrible air-Robert Kurvitz

(I want to read House of Leaves and Ulysses too. I'll ask about them while I'm here but I dont need to be persuaded to read them)

I'm sure I'm forgetting some, I'll add them in an edit if I remember. Thanks in advance