My SO was going to use some cash our kids got easter egg hunting to buy some kid supplies. I always put the cash I open in cards for the kids in their piggy bank.

She admits she always uses that cash to buy them stuff.

I admitted that I thought we were both filling their piggy bank.

She has requested that I ask "the communists [you] talk to" what they do (haha).

Bare in mind, this really only applies to kids who have no concept of money. Obviously, we both agree once they have that concept, its theirs to do as they please.

(This isn't a heated disagreement BTW just a funny revelation)

Linked thread put the bee in my bonnet.

Richter

A few weeks ago I disposed of the last of my 3yo’s heart medication. They don’t take anymore. I mean my partner and I haven’t given it to them in two years. It’s no longer part of their treatment. Their treatment plan, in fact, ended about two years ago. For all intends and purposes they have a clean bill of health. But the medication has been sitting in the back of the fridge, like a splitter that was never pulled out. 

The liquid medication, Amiodarone, is a thick syrupy elixir. Our pharmacist said it was okay to dilute and flush it, which seemed uh…not good for the environment. Amiodarone is hard enough on the human body. When they were taking it, our then 8 month old couldn’t go out in the direct sunlight for more than a few minutes for risk of sun poisoning. Among other side effects to their eyes and liver. It is potent and costly and, given to an infant, inevitably ends up on your couch. Can’t imagine what it might do to a river system. 

Our 3yo’s next cardiology appointment is in a year. After that it might be two years. Then maybe not again until they’re a teenager. My partner and I always talk about getting rid of the Amio. That it’s just a reminder of our trauma, not theirs. They don’t have any memory of it. We’ve never wanted our 3yo to grow up with a sense that they’re meek and fragile. That their defining characteristic is some event that happened to them before they could remember anything. They know they went to the hospital, they know they had a sick heart. More importantly they now that dozens of doctors and nurses worked tirelessly to heal them. Sure, they know these things and act differently. They play doctor differently than other kids, insisting on blood pressure cuffs and echocardiograms. That’s what their cardiologist does. They wear a mask with us to the store, are aware of people who are sick, wash their hands regularly. My partner and I sometimes wonder what unknown traumas they endure. It’d be unfair of us to carry on a token from back then in our fridge.

We’d long since taken down the milestone ECG charts from the cork board. The NG tubes are tucked into a box with other hospital memories. We’ve stored all the photos from the hospital, all the ones from immediately before  and after, on a shared drive. There are some hand-me-downs our 1yo never wore, some toys they’ll never play with because those are hospital toys. All those reminders, big and small, are just as compartmentalized as the trauma in our minds. Therapy and consoling each other when we remember helps too of course. But the Amio stayed in the fridge and became almost like a background texture. 

I consulted a friend with knowledge about drug disposals. They suggested soaking charcoal with the medication and burning it in a container. Then dispose of the container and the ashes. I wanted to do that. But I didn’t have time. That is to say that I did actually have time. Plenty of time. Two years and more of time. It could have waited in our fridge longer. I could have incinerated it and done something with the ashes, like incorporating them into ceramic glaze or something, anything to hold onto it. But I put it in the medication drop off bin at the pharmacy. It was unceremonious. And I felt guilty. 

Sometimes I worry that around a corner or behind a door I’ll be back there, in the hospital. Machines and doctors and nurses and monitors and that jeering noise the monitors make when a heart rate is too fast. And my baby, ashen and unmoving, blanketed in wires and tubes, is still there in the past. Where did it all go?

I found this on XHS, its description is:

1986 China Poster

It shows a child sitting on Marx's shoulders. The poster reads: Marx loves children. The poster was published by Sichuan Fine Arts Publishing House.

I think I'm going to rotate Stalin out for Marx. This painting is just to good!

https://mlapinski.blogspot.com/2015/12/sesame-street-smart-cookies.html

SMART COOKIES will be a new recurring segment on Season 46 of SESAME STREET (the one premiering on HBO in January).

The segments star Cookie Monster as the rookie agent of a team of crime-fighting cookies called "Smart Cookies." His teammates include leader Chipowski, tech-guy Figby and clue-giver Miss Fortune. In each segment, Cookie Monster learns about self-control and regulation as the team thwarts the dastardly attacks of a villain known simply as "The Crumb."

Wow copaganda and orientalism in my child's Sesame Street? It's more likely than you think

https://xcancel.com/paulkleinfancam/search?f=tweets&q=Sesame&since=&until=&near=

The Smart Cookies drive around in a tactical vehicle that I always imagined as a cross between a cookie jar and the A-Team van. Modeling by Brad Applebaum, surfacing by Stephanie Goldstein and Tim Crowson based on my design. Will there be a toy? (I hope there's a toy) Also fun incorporating kitchen details into the interior consoles.

Cool militarized cop van, hope there's a toy

I love working with this Magnetic team and so much talent and ingenuity went into developing the look for this show. Here's a rundown of those involved:

✍️

free the crumb

Is this jumping the shark? Is this the ouroboros of kids toys? From a toy regularly used to mock annoying kids toys on the show, to an annoying kids toy you can hate in your own home.

Hi Everyone! I struggle sometimes to make my 6 month old baby daughter eat solid food.

What I have tried so far is this:

• Eliminate any distractions such as the TV
• No forcing her to eat
• Try to make her play with the food with her hands
• Always help her to grab the spoon so she can put it in her mouth on her own
• Put her in her baby chair to eat
• Synchronize the feeding time with our own eating time

Despite trying all of these, there are days that she really doesn't want to eat and prefers the baby bottle. Wanted to check with you all if you have experienced the same and see what you have tried so far?

I welcome any feedback!

I send you this well wish from my own bed, next to my sleeping son who farted himself awake, and my sleeping wife. Well before the clock hits midnight here.

Here's to you all! Thank you for showing up to the weekly threads I put out. Each year we struggle in order to try and build a better world for our kids, and it's been an honor to struggle along side you all!

In the last year my youngest started walking and growing his little vocabulary. He is such a card, my little joker. He's developed such a cute personality. So outgoing and ready to interact with people and the world. He clearly loves his big sister and I catch him often emulating her much to her annoyance.

My oldest is becoming a little person, full of silly sassy energy. She is also expressing herself in so many fun ways: through dance, through art, through her words. She cares so deeply about her friends and teachers, always trying to make something for one of them. She clearly cares deeply about her little brother too, even if he annoys her at times. She is so empathetic it leaves me in awe. Even today, after stressing internally about refilling my prescription, she told me "you look a little sad". Which was true, and very validating. I talked with her about why, and she listened even if she didn't really understand.

I know we are a diverse group of parents, with kids of all kinds and ages. I hope for you and yours a year of happiness and love. A year of growth and triumphs. A year full of good memories.

Happy New Year !parenting@hexbear.net!

✌️❤️🧙‍♂️

picture unrelated but it makes me happy to look at

If you don't have kids and reply I might get upset but I'll try to just ignore you

At the Las Vegas Children’s Museum. Teaching them when they’re young that you must work to live.

I talked to my 7 y/o about it. Is that fair? What happens when people cannot work? Should it be that way. I’m a jerk.

Rich as hell... I can't even imagine what it costs. Checked the profile, they mention they have a driver.

Conservation from the car today:

Kiddo 1: my seat has a lot of crumbs, you need to clean this car soon.

Mom: oh yeah? Are you going to help me clean it?

Kiddo 1: Yeah!

Mom: you going to vacuum the crumbs up?

Kiddo 1: No.

Mom: Wha? Those crumbs are yours you know. 😏

Kiddo 1: No, everyone makes the crumbs in this car 😤

Me: It's The Peoples Mess 🫡

Got a good laugh from my SO.

The real question is, how do you raise your kids so they don't turn into the next Pete Buttigieg?

Glad we finally have comm dedicated to Hex's favourite author

My oldest is not yet old enough to really understand the concept and is not yet being taught this yet either (in daycare/preschool). So for me its about as simple as the Bluey episode.

But what about the comrades with older kids? What's your a messaging broadly, but also specifically for this election?

What do your weekly meals look like for you and your fam? I generally enjoy cooking, what I don't enjoy is the negotiations that come with cooking, and with kids, it's even worse. I'm also the kind of person that could eat the same 5 dishes for a year without much fuss or question. That's the ADHD lodged in my brain for you.

The negotiation, or even the anticipation of negotiations, makes me agitated. If I could, I'd be a food dictator, but that's not how living with people works. It's annoying enough to me that I often push it to the back of my mind and just "figure it out" on the fly. That's not conducive to making good choices, though, only convenient choices.

If I'm going to do most of the cooking, I'll want a schedule of meals, so I can both plan, anticipate, and head-off any objections. I struggle with being assertive on this point, and I'm told often, "We don't need to do that much planning." Which, as someone with ADHD into my late 30s, I know is not true, and I do need that much planning if not more. Structure is something I need, and the kids at this age obviously thrive off structure as well.

So anyway, how do you tackle this? I need to get this sorted out for myself, but also for my kiddos. Kiddo 1 just had an annual checkup and is low on iron, and is growing increasingly picky about food. Kiddo 2 is still in that "I'll try anything in front of me." phase, and getting this sorted out now hopefully means I can avoid the pickiness down the line.

I'm going to cross post this in !neurodiverse@hexbear.net & !food@hexbear.net as I think it has some clear overlap.

Also why are there no meme templates of fat women? Kinda sucks tbh

But yeah my wife almost melted into a puddle just retelling the story

This show is just cool. It's got good vibes, good design, a cool world that feels internally consistent, and good themes. In a world that refuses to understand the weird stuff that exists in it, Helda is curious and empathic to the weird stuff, and tries to understand their motives and desires. She regularly sees the good in things like trolls and other creatures, and makes connections others can't. Her relationships with her friends and mom can be strained at times, but they find common ground and learn to be better friends and family.

My kiddo digs it, and I as well.

The parents never hit their child (back), by the way, only she may hit them if she asks, and is allowed to.

Two excerpts that explain the underlying philosophy:

In the world, Nic points out, women are largely on the receiving end of violence, and in his family that was contrasted with his mom, who would teach the kids judo and jujitsu techniques. His aunt was a national judo champion, and the best judoka in the family. People would come to spar with the family, and they would be paired with his aunt, who is 5-foot-4 on a good day. He grew up seeing pictures of her throwing 200-pound men, their heels flying in the air. Then he would see other people’s families, in which violence was just framed as a negative, end of story.

Margo wants some of Nic’s female relatives’ confidence for our daughter—whether or not she wants to be a martial artist, Margo wants her to be physically prepared for life. Margo has felt so unprepared physically for so many scenarios she’s found herself in, starting with being a young woman in New York City, getting grabbed and groped and followed home and jerked off to on the subway. She wonders how she could have responded differently to all those incidents if she’d had a practice of physical mastery that wasn’t dependent on size or brute strength.

After a lifetime of seeing those dynamics, Nic wants the same thing for his children that he was given: the power to protect themselves and the people around them, and the knowledge to be able to know what does and doesn’t warrant a physical reaction. “I give them a space in the home to practice learning those parts of themselves,” he says, “so if they are in a situation, they are not in that space for the first time.”

“I just want to cultivate children who can protect themselves.”

I like that it involved a girl in this case, but it could also allow boys to still fight eachother as a form of consensual play, and accepting "no" for an answer. Just saying "all violence is bad" can lead to problems down the line when they can no longer control themselves and have zero experience.

sitting here like suppressing the urge to help when I see him mess up in a way that he will only realise in 5 steps and then reverse them one by one. Very proud of his tenacity though.

I wasn't really sure what to title this, this is just a vent post if anything.

Today is the first day of school where I work, It's generally a good day for the kids, plenty of activities and not a lot of hitting to books, just time to reconnect with friends and ease into the year.

Every year they have bouncy houses, and every year they are provided by the Army National Guard. They have guys out here in their uniforms, and their big ass truck that screams, "FREE TUITION" on the side.

I remember having recruiters hassling me near the end of High School, but man, middle school? Now, I don't know if these folks are hanging back and simply supervising, or if they're actually chatting up the kids about the National Guard. I'll tell you, I'll be priming my kids to tell them to buzz off when they're entering this grade level.

I’ve read through some of the top posts for r/therian. I have a vague understanding of otherkin in general but hadn’t heard of therians in particular. If my kid said they were a furry, I’d be well within my comfort zone. I fuck with furries. But this seems like people who feel they are trans-species and talk about having species dysphoria. I just don’t know what to make of it but I’m also trying to not overreact or let my snap judgements alienate my kid. I assume they feel like they’ve just had to come out to me, which is something I’ve gone out of my way to not make necessary in terms of gender and sexuality stuff. Just didn’t see this coming.

If the worst thing that happens is they enjoy making animal noises and spend more time out in nature, I’m super down. If they start experiencing alienation from their own identity because of this, I’m not sure what I’ll do.