I hate the disassociation so much, especially since I have no control over when it happens. I'm always missing the first few words of a conversation when someone starts talking to me and have to use context to figure out what they're talking about. The worst is when it happens in the middle of a conversation. I'm trying to listen but then suddenly I just tune-out without warning, often without realizing it.

It's beyond frustrating, especially when you're trying to have healthy relationships. I come across as uncaring and selfish, which is the worst part. Nobody believes me when I say that I'm trying my hardest to listen.

[–] i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 hours ago

Hard relate. It really sucks and "active listening skills" do help a lot but it's no substitute for just... Being able to follow along without incredible amounts of effort.

I feel like sometimes I get grace by brushing it off as "sorry I spaced out what did you say about XYZ?" but that only goes so far.