this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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Give 95% and point out that you lack resources.
They'll never give you those resources, but they will get off your ass because subpar work seems to be the goal.
I'm a god damn janitor and this is true even for my profession.
Oh fuck did the US come full circle and go full Stakhanovite? Back under communism in Eastern Europe, you'd do 105% of the target so you'd hit the bonus but not the target readjustment.
Your version looks worse.
Apparently it's the same, they even have the posters of the best employees (employee of the month) and everything.
Friendly reminder that "Employees of the Month" (and "Students of the Month" in schools) are rarely exceptional at their jobs. Rather, they are chosen by management as examples for what they want from their other employees (or students.) Suck-ups and people who quietly obey orders are frequently awarded such titles.
You could be the most supportive coworker, the most productive worker in your field, and have a genuine passion for the work you do - but if management sees (or even senses) any sort of disagreement with you, you'll never find yourself on that poster.
Which is all for the best anyway, since in all the places I've worked, there's rarely an actual prize. If there is, it's usually a cheap gift certificate to some dying chain restaurant.
Shame, you could have been awarded a Toy Yoda in the back lot.