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As someone who runs a self-hosted mail service (for a few select clients) in AWS, this comment ring true in every way.
One thing that saved us beyond SPF and DKIM was DMARC DNS records and tooling for diagnosing deliverability issues. The tooling isn’t cheap however.
But even then, Microsoft will often blacklist huge ranges of Amazon EIPs and if you’re caught within the scope of that range it’s a slow process to fix.
Also, IP warming is a thing. You need to start slow and at the same time have relatively consistent traffic levels.
Is it worth it, not really no - and I don’t think I’d ever do it again.
I think this is largely why people complain that email hosting is so difficult. It's not the hosting, it's that so many people are doing it with a cloud hosting providers IP space. AWS, Azure, and Digital Ocean all tend to have their IPs in at the very least grey lists. Many home ISPs DHCP scopes too.
Getting a proper static IP, your own subnet from ARIN, or finding a colo with their own IP space will give people much better results.
What would it take for a residence to get an ARIN subnet?