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My dad contacted me out of nowhere (startrek.website)

submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by TotallyNotSpezUpload@startrek.website to c/casualconversation@lemm.ee

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I'm a bit lost here, to be fair. I went full no contact with my family back when I was 16. Took a hike, even across countries. So, apparently what happened, was my ex brother in law not keeping his mouth shut and sharing my number with my family. I still can't make heads or tails of it. But now my dad wants to be real chummy and friendy with me? Fuck that, honestly. I'm not super mad at him, more at the rest of my family, but it seriously hurts right now. What am I supposed to do? I'm at a loss here. Haven't really talked to the person for over 21 years.

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[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago

Well, think it over another time. I have no idea the circumstances that caused you to cut your family off so it depends. What would it take for you to see eye-to-eye with any particular family member once more? What would have to change from the other annoying members of your family before you even hear anything from them?

If you are willing, first see your father one-on-one, set your boundaries clearly and think about them beforehand, what you would be willing to be guilt-tripped into and what you are not, what behaviour is acceptable and what is not. You can keep it just to yourself and your father, and if any others come uninvited or crossed you again in ways you have directly clearly communicated you don't appreciate, then you can block them.