this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2023
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I had an amazing multifunction colour laser printer. It always worked. It scanned straight to OCRd PDF which it placed on an FTP server. It was full duplex, in printing and scanning. It copied ultra-quickly. The toner was endless, or so it seemed. It was everything I needed and wanted in a printer.
But my wife thought it was “ugly” and “too big”. It became a real sticking point, this thing. So eventually it was replaced by a shitty ink-jets so “we could print good photos at home”. Now it’s clogged up to fuck, no amount of head cleaning works and she’s complaining about the shitty quality prints.
Stand your ground on a good printer. Stand. Your. Ground.
Damn, that's a nice printer you ~~have~~ had there.
We need a law that makes it illegal for someone to cause you to lose your beloved printer, despite the way it may look. We need an anti-discrimination law to protect them because they can't protect themselves. We can call it the Stand Your Ground Act...wait.
Yeah. And we should be able to legally marry our printers too. I'm sick of the fact that nobody recognized my relationship with my printer even though we sleep together every night. In ever sense of that term.
Your sheets must be tie-dyed at this point.