Ask Lemmygrad

I'm not sure if I'd say I'm less communist but I do sometimes feel uninspired to do something. Which I guess is normal. I have a busy but steady and decent paying job. I am able bodied. I have a good group of friends, good family relations, a good relationship. I have fun hobbies I can do. I am moderately well liked by most people I meet. In general, my life can be pretty good with only a few challenges at times.

Basically, at my current situation, I live in a system that is designed for me to profit off. I'm not getting the largest piece of the cake but I'm not on the bottom of the societal ladder either.

What this causes is that for me, the path of the least resistance in life, is to accept the status quo and to live life according to said status quo. It might give me a slight discomfort from time to time but I will probably have a decent life. I think it is natural, from an instinctal point of view, to follow a path that gives you little to no stress in which you don't have to fight that hard. After all, would I rather stand on a cold market talking to half interested people about communism or would I be doing something I actually enjoy? I think many comrades with me, if they had to be honest, would choose the latter.

However, I have also become aware of the unequality of our system. I am aware how I am in a privileged position purely because I was spawned in a certain part of the world, with a certain gender and a certain skin color. And because I think that is bullshit, I want to do something about that.

Communist organising is difficult. It takes a lot of time and effort and you very rarely get great results in our current societies. This causes you to have an ideology which you cannot always bring into practice as our current society is the direct opposite of said ideology. I think this can cause some dissonance to occur in your brain, which at times can be hard to overcome.

It's okay to take some time once in a while to reflect on where you stand. It's a privilege a lot of people, especially in the western left, have. But that doesn't mean you can't use it. Despite my personal challenges to stay organised or to find motivation to go out for the umpteenth time without a guaranteed result, I still believe communism is the way forward for humanity and I try my best not to lose hope, however difficult that can be.