Can't take being misgendered and harassed. He/himed. People starting arguments over their own intolerance and blaming the arguments on drag. Banned from trans communities on blahaj and then unbanned but the unban didn't federate, so don't know where to post this. In so much pain. Hopes this post won't lead to more pain. What do you do when nobody will believe you're hurt, and every time you scream out in pain, you're accused of having an agenda? What kind of agenda is just not wanting to be harassed anymore? They think they're winning when they fill a thread with drama and then complain about all the drama. They think they're doing something right? How do you tell people you're honestly suffering and have them believe you?

self-harm thoughts

Do you just cut your skin open and show it to them? Is that how you convince them that they're causing you pain? HOW? How the fuck do you convince them that your pain isn't a trick?

They tell you to block them while they misgender you and tell the whole world you're the devil. "Just ignore everything I'm doing to hurt you and you'll be okay". It doesn't make any sense but they think it's right. They could choose to disengage this very minute but they don't. They think harassment and misgendering is a crusade of justice. That hurting people is a moral good, but oh no, don't you dare claim you're hurt when I hurt you.

How the fuck do you post your tears on lemmy?

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[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

We aren't qualified or capable of helping you, as we are lemmy users, not people with the training and distance necessary to properly serve you. Us trying to address self harm issues would be doing a disservice. I suggest you contact a crisis hotline right now, and in the long term, seek professional help wherever you live. I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, but that's all we can give.

If you live in the US, you can call 988 or text HOME to 741741 to reach national crisis hotlines. The Trevor Project can be reached by texting START to 678678, or by calling 1-866-488-7386. You can even message them online through their website.

Online interaction cannot replace live interaction. Although it's scary and difficult, there isn't another way. It's an easy trap that all types are vulnerable to. Seek to build relationships in the real world. Everyone can find others to love them.

[–] HonouraryDragon@lemmy.nz 7 points 8 hours ago

Don't try to medicalise harassment. Cyberbullying is a community issue. It's up to the members of the communities to fight against harassment and support their vulnerable. It's up to our community leaders to especially uphold a safe environment for all kinds.

[–] Newbuild@lemmy.nz 3 points 8 hours ago

Friend of drag here, most of this drama bs could just be over and done with if people just stopped being assholes for no good reason

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 2 points 8 hours ago

Lemmy moderators are qualified to and capable of helping people with misgendering and harassment by removing misgendering and harassment and banning people who do it. The misgendering and harassment aren't on this community, so the mods here can't remove it directly, but anyone with a lemmy account can report the offending comments or tell the people responsible to knock it off.

Here's some advice from the University of Cambridge on how to be an active bystander: https://www.breakingthesilence.cam.ac.uk/prevention-support/be-active-bystander

How You Can Intervene Safely: When it comes to intervening safely, remember the four Ds – direct, distract, delegate, delay.

Direct action Call out negative behaviour, tell the person to stop or ask the victim if they are OK. Do this as a group if you can. Be polite. Don’t aggravate the situation - remain calm and state why something has offended you. Stick to exactly what has happened, don’t exaggerate.
Distract Interrupt, start a conversation with the perpetrator to allow their potential target to move away or have friends intervene. Or come up with an idea to get the victim out of the situation – tell them they need to take a call, or you need to speak to them; any excuse to get them away to safety. Alternatively, try distracting, or redirecting the situation.
Delegate If you are too embarrassed or shy to speak out, or you don’t feel safe to do so, get someone else to step in. Any decent venue has a zero tolerance policy on harassment, so the staff there will act.
Delay If the situation is too dangerous to challenge then and there (such as there is the threat of violence or you are outnumbered) just walk away. Wait for the situation to pass then ask the victim later if they are OK. Or report it when it’s safe to do so – it’s never too late to act.