Selfhosted
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What about home assistant? Me and the Family quite often use the HA app on the go, sometimes even from other computers like at my parents or in a hotel to check on the house and the cat. I also gave my dad access to it so he can see if we're at home and things like that.
Same with my dads HA.
Set up a VPN to get back inside your network if you're outside it. Then you don't need HA (or anything else for that matter) to be public.
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HA had 2 security audits. I would not worry too much. Always depends on what you can control with it. https://www.home-assistant.io/blog/2023/10/19/security-audits-of-home-assistant/