this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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Asklemmy

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[โ€“] TheGuyTM3@lemmy.ml 20 points 20 hours ago

https://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Middle-School-Crush-to-Like-You

UUUHHHHH


monday


inhales

I like coming here.

In break times, i often get to see her, with her long skirt, her adorable jacket, and her soft, long, brown hair.

She is rather tall in her friend group, she must be 13, maybe 14...

It doesn't stop me for loving her even if i am in my 40's.

Nothing can.

It's not a barbaric attraction like thoses weird pedophiles.

My love is pure.

She's made to be mine.

"I want to be with her together."


tuesday


She just leaved the school to buy her meal.

Today she did attach her hairs into two braids, with ribbons at the ends.

She is so cute.

"I absoluetly want to be with her"


She seems to be alone right now.

"Is it my chance?"

Slowly, gently, silently, I put some chloroform on the piece of cotton.

Softly, purely, nicely, I approach her from behind.

Strangely, surprisingly, quickly, she does a barrel roll and a backflip, and face me with an assault rifle.

Rougly, straightly, immediatly, she say: "ladies and gentleman, we got him"

Painly, horribly, trementously, i get perfored multiple times by supersonic projectiles, and fall on the ground.

"aww man"

I just died trying to get a middle school crush to like me.


Guys don't call the police it's for the thing