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would dating my ex friend be worth it, do you think he could love me and would calm down if i said yes or am i just thinking this out of sadness? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 18 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) by drbollocks@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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i just broke up with my bf who ghosted me bc he realized he's gay (im a woman). i don't even think i like guys but i have this compulsion to ask out my friend who i blocked to have a man that treats me right instead of the other guy that ghosted me, and also to make him happy.

he kept talking about how he could treat me better than anyone else, that i should've ditched my bf for him (obv i said no), and badmouthed not only his gf of a few years since age 16 but also his first time. he left her bc she showed signs of schizophrenia and she blocked all his socials after he left.

he kept guilttripping me when i said i didn't want to be his gf so ik he doesn't care about consent regardless of what he says. he also completely ignored me liking women and acted like i was straight but i feel lonely.

i kinda wanna make him happy and have a bf who pays attention to me but ik i'm probably just saying this out of sadness. we were friends but i had to block.

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[–] refurbishedrefurbisher@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

Literally everything is a red flag in this post. Stay far away from this person.

I personally think you need to take some time off dating in general (both women and men) to really figure out what you want (not just sexually or romantically, but what you want a relationship to be). Don't let other people influence that. Dating out of lonliness is a great way to get stuck on the receiving end of an abusive relationship. You need to be comfortable with and love yourself before it is possible to be in a healthy relationship. It is a lot of work to do so, but it is absolutely worth it in the end.

Also unrelated, but make sure you stay far away from drugs. They will make not just this situation, but every situation worse.