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I’m not sure if you ever made your way to following through with this… But the three node system isn’t a bad starting point. However, here’s how I would approach it (similar to how I actually got my start in homelabs and how I do things now)
1 system for your router (looks like you picked a Qotom unit, those are decent), 8-16 gb ram
1 system for proxmox virtualization… run all your services in LXC’s or Virtual machines, as much ram as you can get a get for your system
And 1 system dedicated to storage (truenas or unraid), 32gb ECC ram (personal preference but not necessarily needed even with zfs for home use)
I’d start at https://reddit.com/r/homelab … but since we’re on Lemmy, I’d rather suggest posting on !homelab@geekroom.tech (new, but looking to gain traction)