this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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Men don't have to be the ones asking, but I was responding to the idea that men can't approach women by default. Either gender can shoot their shot.
And those women can have a preference for a more "traditional" role, it just means they need to be aware that not every guy they meet is going to be cool with that and that may mean making a choice down the line. The idea is that two people are in a relationship that works for them and everyone is safe and respected. So, yes, it's okay for people to have that preference. The issue is forcing your preference to be the standard.
The issue with the women I have met in my example is that they only want the advantages of the traditional without the negatives. They want the emotional and labor and physical chores to be shared equally, but they don't want to be responsible for initiating or pursuing. Nor do they have any interest in learning how to do basic things with tools and would rather their partner deal with it.
If we aren't going to give a misogynist a pass because they don't want to give up what they have for equality because that's just his preference, then I don't think it's fair to give anyone else a pass when applying the same logic.