this post was submitted on 08 Apr 2025
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Actually, let me update those wishes a bit: Not only do I hope your kids become smokers, but now I hope one of them gets a fulfilling, high-paying job as a tobacco company executive.
And after that? May your house be struck by lightning and burn to the ground, and the only thing that saves you from living under a bridge is the fact that your wealthy tobacco company executive offspring can afford to just buy you a new house with his hard-earned tobacco blood money, so that way every day you live your life knowing that your existence is subsidized entirely by smokers.
Bro why are you so defensive about a bunch of poison-belching stink bombs?
Presumably because they're just people, and don't deserve death wished upon them?
^ See, funny thing about me is that when you say things like that, my brain actually interprets it as "Not only do I want you to smoke right next to me, but I also I want you to blow all the smoke right in my face after every puff you take".
Okay, how about we compromise? How about I just put up a sign that says "if you don't like the smoke, get the fuck out of my bar" and that way, you can just choose for yourself whether or not you'd like to give the place your business instead of expecting everyone else there to bend over backwards just to accommodate you?
Wrong. Actually, most club/bar owners really don't want people like YOU there, because nobody wants you pestering their customers and driving people away.
^ See, here's how I know you're full of BS: I live in a major vacation area and there's only one single non-smoking club in the entire city.
Then move to Hawaii. I know I'd feel better if people like you were stuck on an island hundreds of miles away from the mainland where you can't bother the rest of us.
Also, I'd like you to know that every time I encounter an annoying Smoking Nazi like yourself who love giving holier-than-thou lectures about smoking, I instinctually light up a cigarette while they give their anti-smoking lecture, and I intentionally blow the smoke right in their face.
LOL nobody cares about your 'research', shut up nerd.
I'd rather not know what you do in private with your scat, pal, and the fact that you're comparing smoking to a kink of yours is very weird.
Well see, that's the thing - I enjoy it when Smoking Nazis like yourself get annoyed by my smoking. So if you are one of those people who go around lecturing strangers about smoking, then right off the bat I'm incentivized to smoke around you.
Yes. I am that petty.
Ah, so you're not just a Smoking Nazi, you're also a homophobic bigot. That's not helping your case at all, but it does make sense - You know who else hated cigarette smoke? Hitler, that's who.
Anything else you want to share? Maybe a dog whistle, or a "roman salute"? Hell, I bet you could think up at least 14 words you'd like to tell me, eh?