this post was submitted on 09 May 2025
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Asklemmy
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Since you've been to a psychologist for your assessment (is that what you mean by "psy"?) have you asked or considered the possibility of neurodivergence? I have suspected autism in myself for a while, and I resonate with much of what you said in regards to stimulus overwhelm, staying in your bubble, disdain for small talk etc. That's pretty common in many autistic people.
Yeah, I and some other psychologists had suspected high level autism, like Asperger, but it doesn't seems to be this. I have a mix of social anxiety linked to my childhood (also called over-adaptation), probably neurodivergence like giftedness, and Endogenous depression. Fuck my brain :D. The good side is that I'm extremely resilient to stress, pressure, or emergency situations.
My last psy (who is excellent) told me that "Autistic people are always autistic". It's really a missing social-related circuits in their brain. On my side, I'm "autistic like" most of the time, but I manage to build close relationship with good friends. So I have this "social circuit", but it switch on only when I feel really secure.
It feel really strange to re-analyse all my life and childhood with this new perspective.
Well fuck me damn. Do you experience anger?