this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2025
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Ladies: please help me understand. (lazysoci.al)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 6 days ago) by SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz to c/WomensStuff@lazysoci.al
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It's literally the most natural thing in the world to equate reproductive effectiveness to worth. All life is "worth" their reproductive effectiveness. So not having sex is very relevant to our entire existence as a species.

As such, our mental faculties put a heavy punishment in the form of mental pain, i.e. "self-worth attached to getting laid", on this whole thing.

This has very little to do with societal expectations. It's simple biology. Not getting laid is supposed to be one of the worst things for an organism.

You're rationally right with what you say, but it's simply not very relevant. Rationality does not help with our most deeply rooted biological desires. The only thing that helps is getting them fulfilled, i.e. having sex."

From the Blackpill incel thread

I can't tell I'm just too ace to comprehend this. Is this a thing? Do women feel this? I argued it's more of a "societal expectation" thing and was countered with.. this.

Not saying this user is wrong, I just am having a difficult time understanding this.

"Our most deeply rooted biological desires" has me squinting real hard. Do women feel this way, too? Idk I'm absolutely confused af

EDIT: Please do NOT brigade the blackpill thread. No touch. Seriously.

Realization achieved: it's not an incel discussion thread: it's now an incel defense thread. What a fuckin' waste ffs..

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[–] MTK@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

When I was young I actually had a pretty awful experience with a woman who was so sexually frustrated that she ended up manipulating me to satisfy her own desire. I suspect that this situation plus some potential childhood SA has left me with serious issues around sexual needs and the appropriate ways to handle them.

I'm not proud of it but there were times in my younger years where I didn't handle my sexual frustration properly and it ended up hurting my partners (NOT SA or anything like that, just unknowingly emotionally abusive behaviour on my part) and I had to grow up and face my own issues. I learned to handle my struggles without making it someone's suffering.

To a certian degree I understand this person, but they are taking the approach of self victimizing instead of growth. Growth is understanding that even tough it's unfair, your problems are yours to handle and you shouldn't morph them into other's problems. Sexual frustration, just like all other types of frustrations, can be managed and handled in a healthy way.