this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2025
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Since we're all throwing random ideas out here, I want to equip my vehicle with an annoyingly loud external speaker so that when someone near me does something dumb, I can personally shame them.
Counterpoint: the dumb people could have them as well.
Every car needs proximity chat so traffic becomes like a COD lobby.
Now there's a Black Mirror episode with true horror!
I am not trying to brake check people and get in an accident but I would very much like a signal for "Please remove your car from my butthole, it's getting uncomfortable."
There are LED bars for mounting in your rear windows to display text to those behind you
Pretend to suddenly avoid a pothole.
I've never done it, but I wonder if turning on the rear fog lights would work. You're not braking, but they might think you are. I don't know what the legality of that would be
In some places in the world you can give it a shot and see, but we don't have rear fog lights in the US. I've never seen one on any car designed for this market, and my Crosstrek just to name an example has a conspicuous filler panel over the hole where the rear fog light goes on the same model sold in other markets.
As to why, I have no idea. But we also mandate that front fog lights can't be configured so they can be activated without the main headlights on at the same time, which kind of defeats the purpose if you ask me. So maybe asking DOT regulations to make sense is a tall order.
Like... a horn?
No. I want to make my voice loud enough for me to stop at a red light and ask the guy behind me if there is a proctology emergency or if they could stop riding my ass, and savor their expression as it dawns on them what is happening.
This is definitely a thing. I had a friend in high-school who put a loud speaker in his 69 Tempest. He was funny too. He would say the silliest things to people.
Now imagine everyone having one. Yeah, nah.
You are looking for war
Road rage 5000 initiate
This would seem quite risky to use on US roads. I mean probably elsewhere too, but at least they don't pack the same hardware.
Ah but I don't care about my life
These exist. I used to deliver pizza and one of my coworkers installed one of these on their car.
Liknks or didn't happen
It was similar to: https://www.amazon.com/SoundAlert-Emergency-120-130dB-Hands-Free-Rebroadcast/dp/B08B3BXZ66
CB radios often had a "PA" switch that sent your microphone audio to a loudspeaker under the hood.
I'd prefer a "FlameThrower" button next to the horn.
Yeah this is exactly what I have in mind. I want to feel like Smokey the Bandit calling people out for bad behavior with a receiver that has a coiled cable attached to it, at a minimum.
We used to roll those back in the day. A friend gave my very drunk self a lift home one evening and I used it to give commentary to a group of revellers on the side of the road... who threw a beer bottle at us, and then chased the car which luckily didn't get stopped at the traffic light nearby.
Good times.
Yes, and an oil slick button that drops some oil on the road for the hard of hearing tail rider.