So maybe you need to artificially create some sort of panic in your life. I look at your life and am jealous of the things discribe but you seem to be wanting in on what Im going through. So if that's the case just need to be constantly panicked about something.

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

But i am panicked about everything, about my brain fog, my incapability of communicating or even wanting to comunicate with people, inability to cope with the world materially and morally crumbling down.

And mostly, panicked about my inability to not feel numb constantly about my panic

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Im not a medical professional, first off. I dont really think you need to be panicked Im just saying you need something inside telling you this is urgent. That thing needs to float above all other things. For me, its easy because from the moment I wake up and its not there I will immediately lose my job and spiral out. Its an exaggeration, but really its not. If that drive isn't there every waking moment its like letting go of the wheel while Im driving through the mountains. Sure I might make it 10-20ft.

But Id also say, its not great.

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Mmm i get it know yeah, that stimuli that pushes you forward, fear can be harnessed and not just be a stopping force. Gotta say with the antidepressants starting to work i feel like i have the eneegy to feel and think something else other than desperation, finally

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That was my problem off the meds. The intrusive thoughts were constant and crippling. Sure Id like to be un-tethered to this medication but I would really just be taking off the leash and shackling on a chain.

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 2 points 3 days ago

A fitting metaphor, if bleak