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How do I [32M] have a "slut phase"? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago by CaptainStack@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

NSFW 10 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hear me out. First, I know sex isn’t everything and I know that hooking up and getting laid isn’t going to solve deeper needs and insecurities that I am working on.

That said, I’m also getting out of a long and bad relationship that has left me feeling like I missed so many experiences and opportunities in what ultimately were the final years of my 20s.

I never really properly figured out dating or hooking up. Even though it’s not literally true, I feel like the only person I’ve been with is someone where we skipped straight to “serious long term relationship” which not only contributed to why we didn’t work out, but also kind of stunted my development when it comes to romance and sex.

So now I’m trying to take a step back and just kind of loosen up and have fun in a way I feel I never have before. I do want to develop real connections and long term relationships, but I also want a bit of time away from that first.

Only problem is, I have no clue how and I do feel just a bit old for it. I’m on Tinder and frankly it just feels like nobody is interested.

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[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I casually dated for a lot of my early 30s, my 20s was a string of LTRs, and now in my late 30s I'm married. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm a serial monogomist.
My casual dating in my early 30s was powered by bumble, it's also how I met my wife.
I was only casually dating because I had learned from my 20s the kind of person I wanted to get into a committed relationship with, and I felt like I could afford to be picky. Lots for one off dates, only one or two hookups, that never turned into anything.
I'm happier in a committed relationship, and there's nothing wrong with that, we're all built different, and for me random fucking doesn't really turn my crank.
Grab bumble(other people are saying hinge, but I never used it so I can't say one way or the other) and just go for a load of first dates, see where things go.

[–] CaptainStack@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Damn I didn't even realize Bubble had been around that long! Hinge is the new kid on the block.

For what it's worth, I don't think I want to be a long-term slut. I just want to try it on for a while.

[–] SturgiesYrFase@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

I ain't judging pal! You do you! Just presenting you with my story, cause yours felt a lot like mine. I fully support you in your quest to be a slut ❤️