this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2023
39 points (57.8% liked)
Asklemmy
43817 readers
873 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
If my comment was off the mark and my comment was not what you're talking about then it is not an example of people not believing you its an example of me thinking you were talking about something else.
You said "nobody really believes us when we talk about our issues or even the things we personally experience." if your friends don't believe you when you are saying that trans people are facing political issues like losing rights, healthcare, being discriminated against or even being assaulted then I would question how you think these people are trans supportive. These are all very obvious facts that every left leaning person should be aware of and you should be able to point to countless examples to back up your point. I might push back against the point of being assaulted for going out in public, I think thats statistically unlikely and the average person shouldnt be worried about that. But if your friends are leftists then they should be aware of the dangers women and especially trans women experience and I doubt they would push back on that. I dont think your friends are trans supportive they just dont hate trans people. Maybe they have never looked at the news.
"A trans person is telling you about what they go through, the transphobia they face, and you are explaining at them about why they are wrong about their own experiences. " Ok but they are actually wrong about the experience so do you think I should just go along with it and be like yas girl the world is against you all the people close to you hate you, random people on the streets are judging you and being transphobic behind your back. Thats fucking stupid and not helpful.
I swear im the only person on the internet who treats trans people like normal people and not porcelain people who require 100 layers of bubble wrap just to go outside. I just read your comment and then thought about the times my trans friends have told me things that I didnt believe. I couldn't imagine them saying x political legislation is being passed and then saying nah you are imagining that. I can imagine saying they are exaggerating the impact of political legislation depending on what it is.
There's a difference between alleviating someone's fears when they are overthinking an interaction, and dismissing someone's concerns as exaggeration or imaginings.
Maybe you are only doing the former. But your comment was wall-to-wall red flags.
And the fact that you thought I was just talking about people being nasty, suggested part of the problem I am referring to. I am glad at least you are aware of the systemic issues trans people face, most people are not.
Yeah. This right here is the exact thing I'm talking about.
Because I point out those policies, and I get told I'm exaggerating about their effects and impact. Or I point out the transphobic rhetoric of politicians, celebrities, and influencers, and I get told I'm exaggerating about their effects and impact.
And I know multiple trans women in my friend group in a major world city who have had assholes try and physically mess with them. It's not as rare as you perhaps want to believe. It's not up to you to decide what other people are concerned about. It's one thing to alleviate someone's fears by reassuring them that assault is not likely. But it's another thing entirely to dismiss their concerns as overblown.
You can sod right off with this condescension, yeah? Trans people put up with inordinate amounts of crap, just trying to get by day to day. We get harassed and accused of the most vile things, we get discriminated against in healthcare and employment, we're a political football and we see our lives being debated on the news on a weekly basis, we get kicked out or have to flee our homes.
We aren't porcelain. We aren't delicate. Quite the opposite.
But yeah sometimes when we're with people we think we can trust, and maybe experience a little compassion for a change. And when we think we have found a space where we can let our guard down a bit, we can get a bit touchy about defending that. But can you blame us?
you sound like you're gaslighting some transgirl