How does anyone believe in monogamy nowadays? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by DudePluto@lemm.ee to c/casualconversation@lemmy.world

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Not talking about being with one partner at a time. Talking about the idea of finding "the one" and being with them your whole life.

50% divorce rate. 97% of people (in the US) don't wait till marriage, so most of us have multiple sexual partners prior to the one we stick with. Many have children with more than one partner.

How can anyone look at the world and think, yeah, there's one that's meant for everyone and just one?

Also hope I don't come across disrespectful. If you do believe in monogamy, I am interested in hearing from you. I'm just buzzed and thinking about my own love life and being curt

Edit: Speaking to the idea that it's the "natural order" or default. Not that it can't work in individual circumstances, especially when we've been programmed for decades

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[-] SnakeRattleNRoll@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

I think that's more of an age thing. Im nearly 40 and in a damn near perfect marriage for 15 years now.

We have friends that we absolutely find attractive. Frankly speaking, we all take care of ourselves and it shows.

Im not looking to bang any of them, and my wife isnt either (granted, as she says, but we have a very strong relationship). We're happy being friends, being comfortable going to the beach, hitting the gym together, etc. We're all very happy in our monogamous relationships (minus one couple, because he fucked around and is now in the 'finding out' stage). Life isnt porn?

It sounds like you're more grappling with maturity, and maybe a bit of heartbreak.