this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2023
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Honestly I was just so concerned all the time about what others were thinking, to the degree that i got scared of doing anything even remotely outside the box.
It changed when I got tired of feeling that way every single day. I just had enough of that feeling you know? It's a bit like just getting sick of your own emotions and you just feel this need to escape that emotion.
I think some people drink to kill that feeling. But I'm not a big drinker. Mother was alcoholic and it wrecked everything completely. I knew there must be a better way.
I think it starts with realizing that other people are not better then you. You need to stop apologizing for who you are and just realize that you are fine. And also to like yourself for something. Maybe you are just kinder then others. Whatever it is, start focusing on that and realize you are good enough and you don't have to apologize for existing in this world.
I mean, that is perhaps a part of my situation. It's something that fluctuates as to whether it's on anyone's mind or not. I wish it was a factor nobody had to partake in. It's painfully pervasive though.