cats

Cat addressing a gathering of extraordinarily corpulent pigs:

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for his mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of your digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through sh*t, now do you? You will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. You can go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig". No offense, I hope.