177
So, on pronouns.
(lemmy.ml)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023
177 points (81.1% liked)
Asklemmy
43773 readers
1317 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
Cis allies usually put pronouns in their bios to show support and normalize the act itself of specifying then online. IRL since you are cis and I asume you look masculine there is no need to specify your pronouns.
Just whenever you meet someone and they tell you to talk to them in a specific way, just do it and respect their pronouns. Its easy. Most people dont care if you get it wrong the first times as long as you acknowledge your mistake and correct yourself, your brain will get used to it and you will not make the mistake later. That's the different between someone who is learning and an idiot purposefully misgendering someone.
BTW if you arent sure about someone elses pronouns, just ask them. Easy.
Cool thanks. I just put mine up in my bio. Hopefully in the right spot.
One thing I try to do as clueless old man is when I am writing a policy doc or instructions at work, I just stick with they/them.
Instructions on how to merge a branch in Git do not need gender specific pronouns.
Yeah. That is just better.
I think this is the most basic change to make that simplifies everything. Particularly online, until you described yourself as an 'old man' I had no idea of your gender. Traditional language would mean even without this information I'd still refer to you with he/him pronouns, or broader terms like 'this guy' etc, but to be more welcoming to everyone, we should be starting out using generic they/them for everyone.
What do you mean by 'never neutral'?
I disagree with this. It's better not to assume or encourage people to assume pronouns. It's better to use they/them when you're not sure. Most of the time you can learn people's pronouns contextually, by hearing how other people refer to them.
Otherwise, it's better to use they/them unless you have evidence otherwise. Looks isn't evidence. It's not the worst thing to assume once and be wrong, but if you're aiming for inclusivity it's better to not assume
Yeah. Good point. But I think OP shouldn't worry about specifying his pronouns IRL, but what you say is a good general approach.
Your first sentence is a really good point. Many cis-gendered people thing it’s pointless to add their pronouns in their email/bio, but it helps to not out those who are trans. If everyone/most people state their pronouns then it makes it harder to unnecessarily identify those who are trans.