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So, on pronouns. (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by shapis@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

162 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I have a few questions on how to best behave to be as welcoming and inclusive as possible without sounding bad. I hope you guys don't hate me.

I'm just a straight male. Are my pronouns he/him? Is that how I should tell people? Do you actually tell them as you meet them ? Do I have to wait for a certain social cue ?

How about online. Should I tell people or have it on my personal profile somewhere?

And about respecting other people's pronouns. How do i figure them out ? Is it a big faux pas if I don't before I know them ? Is it a faux pas if I refer to someone I just met and I assumed to be male as he/him?

I've never seen anyone referring to anyone irl by non conventional pronouns. Is it an actual thing or is it currently being pushed to make the world a more inclusive place?

I'd love some help with all of this.

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[–] hardcoreufo@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I've been to conferences where the name tag has a place for pronouns but most people don't fill them out. 99% of the time it's safe to assume the pronouns you believe are correct, are correct. If you get told otherwise use the preferred pronouns in the future. If someone freaks out over it after one mistake that's their problem.

You can also get around pronouns by just using names. I find i rarely need to use pronouns.

[–] elkaki@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just one thing to add, people freaking out is extremely uncommon. I haven't even heard about a case IRL, even for trans people it isn't something that tends to happen.

Don't be afraid to just guess when you are unsure, you can always ask though and at least for younger generations it isn't seen as weird or unpolite to do so

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The only place it happens is in conservatives' minds and when people make the "mistake" on purpose.

[–] elkaki@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 year ago

A.K.A "the Jordan Peterson experience"

[–] Gormadt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And as a bonus linguistic fun fact:

Everyone is they/them until you find out otherwise

Or at least that's how I was taught English

[–] jpeps@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

"I went to see a doctor about my headaches today."

"Oh good, what did X say?"

Anyone that doesn't use 'they' here either has more information than I provided or is a bit sexist.