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So, on pronouns. (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by shapis@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

162 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I have a few questions on how to best behave to be as welcoming and inclusive as possible without sounding bad. I hope you guys don't hate me.

I'm just a straight male. Are my pronouns he/him? Is that how I should tell people? Do you actually tell them as you meet them ? Do I have to wait for a certain social cue ?

How about online. Should I tell people or have it on my personal profile somewhere?

And about respecting other people's pronouns. How do i figure them out ? Is it a big faux pas if I don't before I know them ? Is it a faux pas if I refer to someone I just met and I assumed to be male as he/him?

I've never seen anyone referring to anyone irl by non conventional pronouns. Is it an actual thing or is it currently being pushed to make the world a more inclusive place?

I'd love some help with all of this.

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[–] daan@lemmy.vanoverloop.xyz 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

While I personally wouldn't go as far as to call people self-centered, I do think Mr Blott has a point, a lot of people may think they are self-centered for immediately declaring their pronouns (or anything else other than your name for that matter).

Anyway, that wasn't what I was trying to say. All I wanted to say is that I don't think that announcing your pronouns is something that will be or should be normalized, since it's pointless for the vast majority of people. I do understand why some people would prefer to do this anyway to avoid the awkward situations like "ahem, actually it's... euuh... he, not she", and I don't have a problem with that.

[–] ech@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

and I don't have a problem with that.

You both very clearly do. Stuff like calling things pointless and ridiculous, advocating for the "vast majority" or "99.999%" of people? That only serves to isolate and "other"ize. It's hurtful and dismissive of real people. Following it up with "but people can do what they want" doesn't erase what you say. Might as well start it off with "No offense, but..."

If you are truly trying to be kind and accepting here, maybe take some time to self reflect on how you view and talk about these things and what's behind that.

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk -2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think all we've learnt from this is that Ech announces his pronouns at the beginning of conversations then wonders why the conversation was so short

[–] ech@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

"Look at this person advocating for kindness. Bet no one wants to talk to them, am I right?"

What a low-tier, middle school level attempt at bullying.

[–] ougi@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Why do you spend your days imagining elaborate made-up pronoun conversations? Are you one of those freaks that hate trans people but jerk it to trans porn?