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What was the funniest thing your ex did to try to win you back? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago by sociablefish@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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[–] MrBubbles96@lemmy.ml 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

She had the gall a week later to chase me down the street begging to speak to me and apologizing...i was still being followed for 1/2 mile.

I would have heard her out if i was you. Not because I'd take her back or believe a single word that comes out of her mouth, no, no, but the sheer audacity of doing that + the desperation to get you to listen...nah, whatever fiction she came up with HAS to be some Oscar-worthy writing instead of the whole "it was a mistake!" if she borderline stalked you to share it, and then thought for a second she still had a shot with you after.

That, or her (non-existent) balls are bigger than her brains.

[–] DemonicPenguin@lemm.ee 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bruh not even. During that time I would take the bus and she would pass by my bus stop, slow down make eye contact then speed up. Wierd af. Like man why are you gonna play around with someone like that. Years later she had the gall to try and speak to me after I specifically told her not to contact me again years ago, because come on who would take that shit? Good lay though.

[–] MrBubbles96@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago

And I am once again reminded why you never stick your dick in crazy. The lay might have been worth it, but all the bullshit after? Fuck that, I'd rather find my someone whose not gonna make my canities worse even if the suck in the sack. Shit, I'm no pornstar myself so.

Please tell me you either put as much distance as humanly possible from her, got a restraining order on her ass, or, and god help them, she found someone else to haunt...

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

She fell and his penis just slipped into her vagina. Accidental sex happens all the time!!!