this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2023
76 points (77.1% liked)
Asklemmy
43856 readers
2140 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
Polyamory is already mainly an upper class thing.
You are hard-pressed to find poly groups in rural areas and blue collar workers. It's usually first-world college educated urbanites.
Is cheating and having secret partners considered polyamory? If so, then it certainly exists abundantly amongst all classes.
A core tenant of polyamory is consent. Without consent from all partners to be in multiple relationships, it’s just infidelity.
So no, secret partners isn’t polyamory. Polyamory is a form of ethical, or consensual, non-monogamy, and infidelity is both unethical and non consensual.
Also you can be in a polyamorous relationship and still cheat. It all depends on what structure people are consenting to, where everyone's boundaries are. Granted it is more rare but it still happens sometimes. For example I have a pretty strict boundary where I don't want any of my existing partners to start dating any of my new partners until I've had a chance to establish the relationship dynamic between me and the new person. I would consider any of my partners crossing this boundary to be a type of cheating.
yep, polyamory has redefined cheating for me and it's much more grounded now than it used to be. cheating is breaking established agreements. in a monogamous relationship that's typically defined as infidelity. in ENM it can be just about anything and it might be different with each and every partner. the key aspect is that there's a mutual agreement and that agreement was violated.
Serial monogamy. Each partnership is between two people but a person may seek multiple partnerships simultaneously or in sequence.
First world urbanites for sure, but as far as I can tell there's many that are pretty poor by that standard, as queer people often are. I guess I know less about the circumstances of their birth.
I'm guessing rising costs of living may push some young people to poly lifestyles where a polycule lives together and shares bills
That sounds like roommates with extra sex- I mean steps.
Depends on the setup. Triads are groups of three people all in a relationship with each other and in a relationship together. So there’s a total of 4 relationships to manage: relationship AB, BC, AC, nd ABC. Quads are the same but with 4 people and 7 relationships.
So it’s a bit more involved than roommates with extra sex. But yea also roommates with extra sex too.
Sounds like a full time job. Must be exhausting.
Ain't nobody got time for that.
Yep. It’s not easy and a lot of people think it’s some amazing relationship goal and when they get there they realize it’s not for them and people get hurt. It’s relationships on hard mode.
It'll probably be a factor, but then you could do the same with roommates, and the historical pattern is of course multi-generational homes. That's what I see happening more and more in real life - it's becoming less unusual to live with parents as an adult.